Flowers Round The Cross

Patron Saints for Catholic Military Moms

2011-12-29T13:36:00.003-06:00

.
Remember that we were searching for a patron saint for military spouses? Well, I finally decided to ask an expert, that is Sister Mary Martha. Within one day, she came up with some awesome answers. Read her recommendations here! And then subscribe to her blog, she has a wonderful talent to explain difficult Catholic concepts in plain language and in a humorous way!

Act first, pray later!

2011-12-05T18:17:00.003-06:00

The other day I was driving on my way back home. I didn't have the kids with me, and the radio isn't working right now, so I was deep in thought in the silence of the car. If nothing unusal had happened, I probably would have pulled into our drive-way without any memory of how I got there. Does that happen to you too sometimes? But alas, there was something unusal. It took, however, a few seconds before I realized that I had just passed a car stopped in an exit lane. There was a guy near it, trying to "talk" to a woman who held her arms outstretched in a defensive position, walking backwards up the hill she was standing on.
And now I was in a dilemma. I couldn't take a second look to confirm that this was suspicious, because they were already out of sight. I couldn't turn around, because I was on a highway. What should I do?

Well, you aren't even sure what you have seen, you don't want to make a fool out of yourself and call 911. That's just for emergencies.

But then again, what if this guy is trying to hurt her? Wouldn't that be an emergency if it was you? Wouldn't you hope someone calls the police?

Alright, but certainly someone else has seen it too and is taking care of it. You are already way down the road.

Didn't you just read about the Bystander Effect in the book "You Are Not So Smart" by David McRaney? Everybody thinks that, and then nobody does anything.

But I'm really not comfortable calling the police. Maybe I'll just pray for that lady...

GO BACK TO HELL, WORMWOOD!!!

And so I pulled over and called 911. The operator transferred me to the police department. After describing what I saw, the lady there said they would send out an officer immediately. I don't know what happened after that. Did they find them? Were they gone by the time the police arrived? Was the woman safe? The important part though is, that all it took me was to stop the car, make a phone call, and less than a minute later, I had done what I could do to help.

In hindsight I'm shocked about my chain of thoughts. The idea that I can substitue actually helping someone (when I have the chance) by praying for him/her, is purely evil. Not helping is uncharitable to begin with, but what makes it evil is the disguise of caring spiritually. In cases like this, we need to act first, and pray later. Let's hope that from now on I'll be better able to recognize the devil's voice among my oh-so-sensible thoughts!

Is it Advent already?

2011-12-03T12:04:00.005-06:00

O.K., now that it's December 3, and almost the second Sunday already, I can't deny it any longer. We are indeed in the Season of Advent. And believe me, denying it I tried. Because if it is Advent, then it's going to be Christmas soon. And if it's Christmas, then Dear Husband is going to deploy soon. Soo... I hope my kids will forgive me that they got their Advent calendar one day late. And that there is no decoration up yet besides our Advent wreath (Ha! At least we got that!).
I have a feeling though that I should switch strategies and embrace everything Advent. By focusing more on the coming of Christmas, I might not notice so much the tell-tale sign of the coming of deployment. As there were:

moodiness (one moment I want to hug Dear Husband and not let him go ever, the next moment I snap at him and act like he deserves to have his head cut off)
disarray (house, garage, schedule)
this persistent pain in my neck that I have come to known as the physical sign that I'm hurting emotionally.

You can call me a "seasoned" military wife now, since I have been through all of that before and it's not surprising to me. That doesn't mean though that I can eliminate it completely. It's just like pregnancy, I suppose. You know the hormones make you moody, but knowing only helps you to control it a little, it doesn't make your moodiness go away.

Even though I can't make the pre-deployment blues go away, from now on I will put more effort into preparing myself and my family for the birth of Christ, by

focusing on words and deeds of love (for my family, strangers, and even myself)
cleaning up my spiritual house (through the Sacrament of Reconciliation and prayer)
consciously offering up any suffering for the people who are uncared for in our society

I hope all of you have a HAPPY Advent season!

Hard to find words

2011-11-07T23:12:00.003-06:00

Some posts are really difficult to write. Sometimes you craft posts over and over in your head and heart, but they still don't want to get typed.

This is one of those posts. So, I will share with you this prayer. I keep praying this one over and over -- and, with God's help, my family and I are finding our way to peace.

My Lord, the baby is dead!
Why, my Lord—dare I ask why? It will not hear the whisper of the wind or see the beauty of its parents’ face—it will not see the beauty of Your creation or the flame of a sunrise. Why, my Lord?
“Why, My child—do you ask ‘why’? Well, I will tell you why.
You see, the child lives. Instead of the wind he hears the sound of angels singing before My throne. Instead of the beauty that passes he sees everlasting Beauty—he sees My face. He was created and lived a short time so the image of his parents imprinted on his face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor. He knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth. He laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess. My ways are not the ways of man. I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another. He was created for My joy and his parents’ merits. He has never seen pain or sin. He has never felt hunger or pain. I breathed a soul into a seed, made it grow and called it forth.”
I am humbled before you, my Lord, for questioning Your wisdom, goodness, and love. I speak as a fool—forgive me. I acknowledge Your sovereign rights over life and death. I thank You for the life that began for so short a time to enjoy so long an Eternity. -- Mother M. Angelica

Read more:http://www.ewtn.com/devotionals/prayers/miscarriage.htm#ixzz1d5VGN1is

Rest in peace, little Pio (or Pia) Julian. Please keep us in your prayers.

7 Quick Takes - 11/4/2011

2011-11-05T00:20:00.005-05:00

It's still Friday in my time zone, so here we go with 7 Quick Takes Friday... if you want to read more, click over to Jennifer Fulwiler's Conversion Diary!

-1-

Are you happy that Halloween is over? We attended several costume parties for the kids, went trick-or-treating, came home with buckets full of candy, and handed out some, but the only decoration in our house was the one and only jack-o-lantern that we carved together. Well, I carved, and the kids were watching. But it was fun!

-2-

And just because it's too cute not to show off - here is the pumpkin, plus little girl in her costume:

-3-

Yep, little girl is not such a little baby anymore. We had her 6-months-checkup the other day. At 7.4 months, because our pediatric office is so booked that it takes almost 2 months to get a well-baby checkup appointment. Anyway... the bad news: she dropped in percentile both for weight and height. That is partly due to her starting to crawl. But partly it's due to me not having had enough milk. Even though I nursed her often, I just felt empty in the afternoons/evenings. My suspicion that she didn't get enough was confirmed when she woke up in the morning with dry diapers and got constipated easily. So we started giving her formula in the evenings, and I knew it'd be a slippery slope to weaning her. Sure enough, she is nursing now only in the mornings and late at night. But hey, at least that. And during the day she gets formula. However, the doctor recommended giving her at least 24 oz of formula, and that's way more than she will drink. Today I gave her the bottle 6 times, and we didn't even make it to 20 oz. I'm not that concerned though, because otherwise she is very healthy and well developed, and her motor skills are above her age-level.

-4-

I don't know why I suddenly started not having enough milk. I nursed big girl longer and didn't have any trouble. My only guess is that my nutrition wasn't sufficient. I dropped to below my pre-pregnancy weight pretty quick, and I haven't been good at eating proper, regular, sit-down meals. This week I watched another baby (Baby D) for 2 days. He is almost 3 months old, and his Mom in her final days as a service member. Because getting her orders took longer than she expected, she had a few weeks after her maternity leave where she had to rely on friends to babysit her son. Long story short: between little girl and him, and picking up the big kids from pre-school, and then putting the babies down for naps and the big kids in quiet time, there was no lunch in it for me, until I almost fainted at 2 pm. I need to work on that.

-5-

Having Baby D in our home confirmed once and for all, what I already knew: big boy LOVES babies! He loves everything about them. He was practically glued to Baby D, and delighted in picking up pacifiers, holding bottles, fetching diapers, and just touching him. Big girl followed suit, so little girl felt kind of neglected. Until she got distracted by her new discovery, i.e. that she can pull up on stuff and press random buttons on the DVD recorder... she is growing up too fast for me!

-6-

Both the big kids are now in pre-school! Five days a week. I'm happy, because they learn so much, and even though I would like to be the home-schooling kind of Mom, I know that it's not for me. Just sitting down and helping/supervising big boy's "homework" is already sending me to the limits of my patience and self-restraint. "I just told you 5 times that for the letter A you go up and then down, and then from left to right. And you still start at the top? Let me go bite a pillow really quick...". I'm very thankful that our pre-school has motivated, talented, and caring teachers who love my kids. And my kids love to go to pre-school to. Now, the only draw-back of having them both there, in one group: big boy will get along with everybody, but he forgets all his social skills when it comes to his sister. There is no sharing among siblings, apparently!

-7-

I'll have to do more "Sharing of Shelf" before long. I've been reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin, and inspired by her St. Theresa de Lisieux's "Story of a Soul". Great nourishment for my own soul! What was your best read recently?

Have a great weekend everybody!

Prayers for Maia

2011-10-27T19:02:00.004-05:00

.
Dear friends,
please say some prayers for Maia and her family. Unfortunately they have lost the baby they were expecting. I know she is trying to find some words to write about it here, but in the meantime I hope she finds it comforting to know that she is in your prayers.

Maia, lots of love to you and your family!

Father and Creator,
in whom all life and death find meaning,
we bless you at all times,
especially when we have need of your consolation.

Maia and her family entrust to your care a life conceived in love.
May your blessing come upon them now.
Remove all anxiety from their minds
and strengthen this love
so that they may have peace in their hearts and home.
We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

"The Military Father": a great resource!

2011-10-18T19:25:00.007-05:00

Unfortunately our family is in the pre-deployment stage, getting ready for another looong deployment starting in a few months. Right now I'm trying to set everything up to prepare the kids and to make it as easy on them as possible. During my search for resources I stumbled upon this book:

"The Military Father: A Hands-on Guide for Deployed Dads" by Armin A. Brott, an ex-Marine. I would have given it to Dear Husband immediately, but he happens to be away on training. So I read (most of it) myself, and I was amazed. It's such a great all-in-one-place handbook that helps the whole family to deal with deployment.
Not only does the author describe the different emotional stages the service member is going through, but he does the same for the non-deployed spouse and the children, divided into age groups. Since this is not our first deployment, I found myself nodding and thinking "Yes, that's exactly right!" in places, as well as discovering new useful information (like "Why you should never tell your son to be the man of the house and to take care of Mom and the siblings"). The book also gives lots and lots of suggestions on what Dad and Mom can do to keep the connection between the service member and the family strong, and lists many activities for the kids that are realistic, doable, but still cute.
To round it out, the author included practical check-lists to prepare for deployment, like e.g. what documents you need. Sure, you can get that kind of information from the military too, but to have it all in one source is really handy. As I said before, this book is made out to set the whole family up for success in all aspects of deployment.
But the best part about it? It's written by a tough guy in a funny way, so that chances are good that the men are actually going to read it and don't have to puke when they read about "emotions" or "feelings".
Well worth the money, whether this is your first deployment or not!

By the way, I bought the book myself and this is my honest opinion, I did not get paid or anything to write this!

Sunday Prayer: Prayer of the Archdiocese for the Military Services

2011-10-16T20:50:00.003-05:00

Almighty God and Father, look with love upon our men and women in uniform and protect them in their time of need. Give them health and stability and allow them to return to their loved ones whole and unshaken. Be with their families and sustain them in these uncertain times.
Grant strength and peace of mind to the Veterans who have given their best for the country they love. Support them in infirmity and in the fragility of old age. Teach us to remember their sacrifices and to express our gratitude.
Manifest your tender care to those in the Military Academies who prepare for future service and to those who serve our Nation far from home. Teach us to remember the sacrifices of those whose efforts contribute to ensuring our way of life.
Bless and multiply the priests who minister to the faithful of the Archdiocese for the Military Services. Reward their generosity and keep them faithful.
Hear us as we present our prayers to You through Christ our Lord.

... that you should enter under my roof...

2011-10-10T19:07:00.006-05:00

.
I'm sure by now you have all heard about the upcoming changes to the words we use during Mass. If not, go check out this page, and if you still have some questions, you'll most likely find them answered here.
One of the changes occurs in our response to the Invitation to Communion. Instead of saying

"Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word, and I shall be healed."

we now say

"Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."

At first glance it just sounds more cumbersome. Yes, the new prayer more closely reflects the words of the faithful Centurion in Luke 7, but we are not saying them asking Christ to come heal our servant, we are saying them right before we receive Him in Communion. So wouldn't "to receive you" be a better fit?

Looking at the source in Luke 7:1-10, the most obvious reason for putting the Centurion's words into the liturgy at all, is of course his great faith. Not only does he believe that Jesus can heal his servant, the Centurion is absolutely convinced that one little word from Jesus, even from afar, will do and heal his servant. By attributing this kind of authority to him, he acknowledges Him as master and completely subjects himself to Him, like we all are called to do.

The same story is also told in Matthew 8, but here the Centurion actually meets with Jesus, while in Luke 7 he only sends messengers to Jesus. Obviously I can not make a statement as to which version is the "correct" one, but Luke's story speaks to me in particular. Here, the Centurion has never physically met Jesus, he only heard about Him and the elders of the Jews are the intermediaries. That doesn't change his faith in Jesus though. His faith is indeed so great, that he doesn't even need Him to enter under his roof, when Jesus is on His way.

What does that mean for us, especially during Mass? I don't know about you, but I'm one of those cradle Catholics who doesn't have many (or any, really) angels-singing-in-the-sky, light-shining-brighter, the-voice-of-God-speaking moments in my life. So sometimes I find myself thinking wistfully "Oh how much stronger my faith would be if only I could have some sign of God's presence". But look what the Centurion did. His faith was so great that he consciously passed up Jesus's physical presence, because he didn't deem it necessary for God's power to work for him. And sure enough, it really wasn't necessary. The miracle happened anyway.

I'm looking forward to being reminded of this in the new liturgy of the Mass, so I know I don't have to be disappointed when nothing more happens after Communion than the wafer dissolving in my mouth and when the choirs of angels remain unheard by my ears once again. God is there, and even when I'm not receiving Him under my roof, it only takes one word from Him to heal my soul.

finding me on the map

2011-10-07T00:56:00.004-05:00

"This blog is about our journey of faith, hope, and love as Catholic Military Moms."

Well, it's been a while since my loast log book entry on this journey. I do feel a little guilty. So here is at least a rough orientation on where I am on the travel map:

FAITH

I have completed the study of the changes to the liturgy (starting in Advent) with my MCCW group and I'm preparing for our new study on the book "The Heart of Virtue" by Donald DeMarco. I've gained quite a few insights that I really should write up and share with you!
Also, I'm planning to do the "Spiritual Cleanse" as prescribed by Marie Joseph from Fired Up Catholics in the near future, during Advent the latest.
Big boy is going to Religious Ed now, our parish offers the "Godly Playroom" for 4 year-olds. He always brings home little projects that I think show that they have learned something good, but he doesn't share much about it ;-) We've also incorporated more formal prayers into our bed-time prayers. After I discovered that he can say the Pledge of Allegiance, I decided it's high time to finally teach him the "Our Father". He can pray it almost perfectly, even though we seem to be in great need to be delivered from "eagle".

HOPE

I have life insurance! That doesn't sound very hopeful, but the process of acquiring it made me think a lot about my hope for my future life and for my future after life. Let's just say... I have hope.
My hope for establishing the Lord's Kingdom here on earth needs some nurturing though. I've just been through a lot of drama both in the Catholic area and the military area of my life. I thought about it a lot, and came to the realization that somehow I expected that everybody actually grows up at some point and then behaves in a rational and civilized manner. Which would cut out the drama. Now I got a little wiser and have come to accept that no matter how mature we are, we will always have emotions and those will affect our behavior. Knowing that at least saves me from being shocked when new drama arises. Is it just me, or have you come to similar conclusions?

LOVE

Time magazine just published an article that stays that most parents have a favorite child. So I'm trying to determine right now which one of the three my favorite one is. I don't quite have an answer yet, but I in the process I have (re)discovered how beautiful, unique, and awesome each of one of them is. I guess that's better than an answer.
Loving Dear Husband is terribly easy right now, because a) he is here, b) he just had two of the last four weeks off, and we spent them mostly away from home on a beach. Plus, my cycles are changing back from post-partum crazy to more predictable, so it's getting possible to enjoy more than just each other's company, if you get my drift...
Loving everyone else remains a challenge at times though, with all the drama going on (see HOPE). But I'm doing my best...

How is your journey coming along?

"Not enough caffeine"...

2011-09-21T00:42:00.002-05:00

Do you remember my whole little pity party about being exhausted?

How I said that there wasn't enough caffeine to solve this dilemma?

How I said that it wasn't for reason of joy?

. . .

? ? ?

. . .

Well, I was right about there not being enough caffeine and wrong about it not being for reasons of joy.

Somebody should have told me to check again!

. . .

! ! !

. . .

We are elated and overjoyed to let you know (though it's very early on, I'm sorta bursting at the seams!) that "Model C" will debut in May. Lots of prayers are requested, of course!

Fired Up!

2011-09-19T22:07:00.004-05:00

.
Ah, what a difference a weekend makes!

Last weekend I attended the MCCW Pacific Region Conference (MCCW is the Military Council of Catholic Women), and it was fabulous! 30 wonderful women retreated together to fire up their faith. We had a great key note speaker, Marie Joseph from "Fired Up Catholics". She is a very compassionate and believable speaker, and very entertaining too! Her testimony is baffling, in the sense that you are in awe of how much she overcame through the power of the Holy Spirit. I could have listened to her for another three days, and so I'm happy that we all got her book "Faith on Fire". It is "... a practical way to grow in understanding and knowledge of the Catholic faith, providing ideas for experiencing a rich spiritual life each day. It includes a thirty-day spiritual cleanse and a personal journal to assist the reader in developing habits that lead to a lifetime of virtues." Once I've read it, I will post a thorough review. Can't wait!

The other key element of the weekend were the sacraments. We started our retreat with a reconciliation service and Mass, so that we all could receive the fruits of the Holy Spirit this weekend even better in a state of grace. We had Mass every day, and it truly helped to nourish us spiritually and to fire up our faith!

Also helping were the great music that we were treated to all weekend, and the beautiful environment of the retreat center. Nestled into lush, green, Hawaiian hills, with spartan, but welcoming rooms. So refreshing for our souls!

Some of the ladies who have been to conferences before kind of warned us about the reality shock that hits us when we go home all fired up and then the sink is full of dishes, the laundry needs to be done and the kids are crying. But I have to say, so far it's all good. I have more spiritual energy (although physically I'm in need of some serious sleep), and I think I have learned some things that will stay with me forever. The flame of my faith is definitely burning a little brighter!

7 Quick Takes: The Exhausted Edition

2011-09-02T04:04:00.006-05:00

~1~

I am exhausted. There is just not enough coffee in the world to fuel this problem. Found on Pinterest, this cartoon pretty much sums up my days of late:

If you follow me on Pinterest or Facebook, you may be seeing this for the second or third time. I just can't get over how much this sums things up.

~2~

No, it is not for reasons of joy. I checked.

~3~

Last weekend, my husband indulged me in one of my To-Do-Before-We-Leave-Korea list items:

"Dr. Fish" are little fish that eat the dead skin off your feet. It's a fun experience if you are not squeamish, which I am not. It tickles a little. My husband wouldn't touch the experience with a 10-foot-pole, but the boys thought it was pretty hilarious. They couldn't sit still long enough to let the "wittle fishes" get even the teeniest nibble of chubby, yummy feet.

~4~

I'm keeping Ute and that MCCW over there in Hawaii in prayers. The Pacific Region Conference is quickly approaching. I'm not able to get over there myself (*sniff sniff*), but I am praying that it will be a fruitful and blessed weekend. I am hoping (*hint hint*) that Ute will cover the event here!

~5~

The age of three is about to do me in. On one hand, this age of exploration and ability is completely fascinating. And on the other, the temper tantrums, emotional melt-downs, and the way that simple directions spiral into full-blown defiance, well, it is chipping away at my defenses and wearing my patience very, very thin.

~6~

What do YOU do to recharge? I find myself so close to snapping so many times a day and am getting so irritable, that my usual quick fixes for sanity aren't holding me for very long. How do YOU keep your cool?

~7~

Our Catholic community over here did another Rosary Field day two weeks ago. You may recall my post about last year's fun and educational event in which we learned about the Luminous Mysteries. This year, since it is the month of August, we featured the Glorious Mysteries. The kids had a lot of fun doing "jump-ups" and learning about the Resurrection, "high knees" while learning about the Ascension, descending to the ground in "push-ups" as they learned about the Descent of the Holy Spirit, stretching for Heaven as they learned about the Assumption, and practicing genuflecting as they lunged and learned about the Coronation. This has been a great (and DO-ABLE) event for our community here! This was a brainstorm of mine, inspired by Peggy Bowes (of The Rosary Workout), though I am sure someone, somewhere, has had a similar thought. At any rate, if you are interested in getting more information about putting on your own Rosary Field Day, please email me!

If you haven't already, head over to Conversion Diary and visit Jen and the other Quick Takers!

A question for you

2011-08-29T17:59:00.005-05:00

My darling husband just bought me a set of bookshelves. For some reason we didn't have any. I could make excuses, but I won't. Suffice to say, he won my heart all over again last weekend when, not only did he spring for the real wood ones but he cleaned our bedroom REALLY REALLY REALLY well (caps necessary: he straightened, swept, cleaned, organized, purged, EVERYTHING), while I gathered all the books we have acquired here in South Korea over the past year and a half. He said, "I'll let you put the books on the shelves since I know you will love it so much." And this after I have been grumpy all week.

Seriously. He did all that. I swoon every time I turn around and see my shelves or walk into my oh-so-wonderfully-clean-and-organized bedroom.

One of the reasons that we were in desperate need of bookshelves here is that I have a book addiction. When we came to South Korea, we moved ourselves. We didn't ship much, and we figured that we would just survive without our loved books for a year and a half while we made good use of the on-post library.

Then I discovered how easy it is to order books from Amazon. Too easy. And, as you know, as you fill your cart, Amazon presents you with new books based on your viewing and buying history. (YOU see what happens when you start buying Tomie dePaola books! Thank Heaven we have an amazing head librarian here that makes sure we get great books for adults and children.) It's dangerous. I try to use the wish list. I really do. I try to hold off. I am generally unsuccessful. I would seek help for this addiction, but I don't really care to acknowledge that it is a problem. What can I say? My mother currently has lots of bookshelves and she still have to double shelf. I come from a "booken" home.

I know many of you have wonderful and quality home libraries, and that's why I come to you with this question:

Do you have or have you read The Mass Explained to Children by Maria Montessori?

This book is sitting in my wish list, currently. I had just finished paying for an order when I saw it. So it's on the wish list, along with about a dozen or so other books. When I need to take advantage of the free shipping...

My gut says that it will be fantastic, and I am teaching 1st Communion this year, so it seems like a good thing to purchase sooner rather than later. However, I know that it is centered on the Tridentine Mass, and what with the Roman Missal revisions happening later this year, will it be something I can use with the 2nd graders I teach? Or can I hold off until my 2 and 3 year old are a year or two older?

Thoughts? Reviews? Other books to consider as well?

St. Anthony!

2011-08-17T19:11:00.003-05:00

I'm sure all you ladies are familiar with St. Anthony and his "superpower" to locate lost things. Before yesterday I've only once or twice called upon him, but it wasn't about anything superimportant, and when I found the thing I had been looking for, I didn't necessarily attribute that to his intervention.

However...

Starting Monday morning I was looking for my social security card. Such a little piece of paper for how important it is... I could not find it. As in every military household, I've been handcarrying certain files whereever we went, and I was 100% sure that I had it during our last move. But it wasn't where it was supposed to be. That was odd. Then I looked in places where it could possibly be. And it wasn't there either. Then I grew desperate and moved every piece of paper in our "office", in the junk drawer, and whereever I found a stack of paper. Maybe it had slipped out and under something? Nothing.

The good thing is that I have now an almost perfectly organized library/office. I tossed two trashbags full of stuff in the process (double-checking everything lest I accidentally throw out the card!). The bad thing was, I still hadn't found the card. Now, I imagine it's not impossible to get a duplicate. After all, I can not possibly be the only person in the country who loses her card. Right? RIGHT? But I knew it would take quite some time, and time I do not have. Because I am a procrastinator. And so I only have days left to acquire a new driver's license, and for that I need my social security card.

So I started praying to St. Anthony. And with praying to I mean asking for his intercession, of course. About two thirds through the pile of everything fileable in my house, I got the distinct feeling: "You are getting close!" Five more things to flip through, and... FOUND IT! Tucked into my daughter's passport. I have no idea how it got there. All I know is: Thank you, thank you, thank you, St. Anthony, for guiding me to it!

Although I hope I don't need to use it in the future, my friend told me a little rhyme she had learned to envoke St. Anthony's graces.

Tony, Tony, turn around
something's lost that must be found

Gratitude list

2011-08-08T14:23:00.010-05:00

Have you ever received a phone call from your loved one and you had so much to tell him that you couldn't think of one single thing to say when you finally had the chance? When Dear Husband was deployed, this actually happened a few times. It might be just me, but I started making lists to avoid the "Oh no! I also wanted to tell him x, y, and z!".

I'm in a similar situation when it comes to Adoration. I love the concept. However, the few times I make it these days, I'm full of anticipation, but when I'm there, I don't know what to do with myself. All the things I wanted to reflect on in the presence of the Lord occur to me afterwards. Since I'll have a chance soon to go to Adoration again, I thought I'd be a little proactiv and make up a list as well, focusing on gratitude. I'll be there for 60 minutes, so I came up with 60 things I'm thankful for (and no, they are not necessarily in order).

I'm thankful for:

my children
my husband
my extended family
my friends
good health
a house to live in
food on the table
the internet
mommy blogs
mail

telephones
music
sunshine
the ocean
books
rainbows
teachers
community
time for myself to recharge my batteries
the Sacraments

the Church
gardens
clean air to breathe
clean water to drink
retirement savings
healthcare
the prayers others say on my behalf
the kindness of strangers
my children's hugs
my children's smiles

being able to comfort my children
forgiveness
sleep
air planes
vacation time
photography
light
peace in my country
people's goodwill
a conscience to guide me

pretty landscapes
toys
art
clothes that are functional and pretty
tools and appliances to make our work easier
peacemakers
freedom
homecomings
pretty and comfortable furniture
crafts

having all my senses
laws that protect us
being able to stay home with my children
my husband's job
enough money to buy the necessities and some extras
volunteer work
people who guide and inspire me
our ability to heal physically and emotionally
God's never-ending love for us
joy and laughter

What are you thankful for?

A Recommendation...or two...or three!

2011-08-01T05:48:00.005-05:00

This week finds things a bit helter-skelter because of Vacation Bible School! I've mentioned before (I think) about how I over-commit and disastrous this is for my ~~intellectual short-comings~~ personality type. I believe the nail-on-the-head phrase that Mrs. Jennifer Fulwiler uses is "EPIC FAIL".

When I over-commit, my house falls apart, my brain implodes, I go a little crazy and the only thing my family hears from me is: "NOTHINGINTHISHOUSEISRIGHTDOESN'TANYONEEVERCLEANANYTHING?!?!?!" Which, I can only assume, comes out sounding like the grown-ups in the Charlie Brown cartoons. It must. Because if they understood what I was saying, they would all jump up and pick up the toys, clean the kitchen, and finally figure out a way to organize the deluge of paperwork that generally surrounds us. Right?

Anyhow, whenever we reach this state of affairs, I, in an "if-this-then-this" sort of equation, start desperately looking for A New System.

I re-read A Mother's Rule of Life: How to Bring Order to Your Home and Peace to Your Soul (conveniently on loan this week).

I look for new materials -- SURELY there must be some magical formula I am missing. Currently, convinced that I have ADD, I have read and am re-reading: Organizing Solutions for People with ADD: Tips and Tools to Help You Take Charge of Your Life and Get Organized. (With a subtitle like that, who wouldn't read this book?)

And I have discovered (perhaps you have too!) this lovely little blog: By Sun and Candlelight. It is delightful! I am contemplating trying her "file crate system". And even if you, Enlightened Reader, already have figured out how to have order in your home, peace in your soul, charge of your life, and organization to boot, I think you might enjoy perusing the posts and reading about how she incorporates liturgical seasons into her planning regimen!

7 Quick Takes - 22 July 2011

2011-07-21T17:10:00.004-05:00

~1~

This week has been a busy week. Every nook and cranny of time got filled. Yesterday (Thursday) was our first morning to take it slow and not rush anywhere. We cleaned the house leisurely. We read books when we wanted to. We I purged toys. And it was fantastic. However...

~2~

...I still feel the need to recharge. I had planned to put more thought and effort towards this blog this week. I have my Space A piece that Ute kindly looked over for me, and it just waiting to be polished and finished. As an introvert, though, I can't seem to balance an active social life and introspective writing. The former drains the batteries and the result looks like...well...like these Takes! I suspect that I need a rest time equal to or greater than the period of flurry and activity.

~3~

I appreciate the sentiment of this list, however it's a bit condescending:

~4~

If you are an introvert, be as interested in this article as I was: 10 Myths About Introverts.

~5~

That said, I have gotten some great reading in this week. This is due, in part, to some great recommendations and the easy access that is provided by Kindle. What's that, you say, they don't have The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose, and Sanity at our little library? (Thanks, Cynthia!) And it will take at least a week for it to get to our APO address? And, you say, you CANNOT WAIT ANOTHER MOMENT to reclaim your Passion, Purpose, and Sanity?!?!?! Never fear, you can be reading that little number in minutes on the Kindle!

~6~

And by "you", of course, I mean "me".

~7~

I am aware I need to work on my will to delay gratification.

Now, hurry HURRY! Get on over to conversiondiary.com and IMMEDIATELY browse through all the other Quick Takers!!

What my kids have to say...

2011-07-15T19:46:00.003-05:00

Part of our daily bedtime routine is to ask the kids for their favorite part of the day. These are big boy's responses from the last few days:

"My favorite part was when Daddy came home"
"My favorite part was helping Daddy to go to work"
"My favorite part was before Daddy went to work and after he came home"

I see a pattern here. Do you? I'm very happy that my son likes his Daddy so much, but I'm starting to feel a little bit like chop liver, especially since he insists that Daddy is HIS Daddy only, whereas I am his sisters' Mommy, not his. Oh, it's going to be fun times when Dear Husband leaves for a month soon!

---

Big girl still isn't potty trained. She will pee on the toilet when we make her go, but she doesn't tell us when she has to go. And she has only once pooped on the toilet. So we keep trying, which sometimes means that we spend 20 minutes or so in the bathroom. Big boy is very helpful in cheering her on, but occasionally the conversation turns south...
"Sister, are you making poop?"
"Yes, I'm making a biiig poop!"
"I'm going to make a big poop too!"
"I'm going to make a humangous poop!"
"You don't have a pee pee!"
"Oh! Where did it go?"

---

Big boy has been paying attention in church. But it seems he is more impressed with his favorite TV show. He's been singing "Gloria! Gloria! In excelsis Diego..."

7 Quick Takes - July 8, 2011

2011-07-08T16:16:00.002-05:00

Welcome to my 7 Quick Takes, in which I talk a lot (but not exclusively) about the commissary...

-1-

Let me start with promoting a website. Sooner or later it will come in handy for any Catholic Military Mom, since we tend to organize meals for each other. It is

www.mealtrain.com

and it helps you to get people to sign up for meals, e.g. for a new Mom or a sick Mom, or a family otherwise in need. What makes it so cool is that everybody can see what dates are available, plus, what other people are bringing (after the fourth night in a row it's kind of hard to be looking forward to lasagna). Check it out and bless a family with some meals!

-2-

I'm trying to get into the habit of bringing my reusable bags to the commissary. Not only have we started to recycle in general, I'm also tired of the mountains of brown grocery store plastic bags that accumulated in our garage. But it's a slow process. At first, I forgot them at home. Then, I forgot them in the car. Today, I had them with me, but forgot to give them to the baggers until they were half-way through... I'm sure, in a couple of months I will have figured it out!

-3-

Speaking of baggers: I'm curious. How much do you give them? In Germany, the concept of having baggers is totally unknown. And since I didn't grow up with it, I'm naturally inclined to not spend any money on them (that's just my stingy nature). But Dear Husband used to work as a grocery bagger when he was a teenager, and so we DO make sure always to tip them. I came up with my own personal system of paying them about 1% of the bill, rounded up to the next dollar. For some reason, I still had a bad conscience that this might be too little (that sign "Baggers work for tips only!" haunting me), until the teenage son of a friend started working there too and reported an income of about $100 a day!

-4-

Last week was big boy's 4th birthday! I can't believe he is already so big. Next thing he'll ask for the car keys! Well, that's the end to having "3 kids 3 and under". Now I have a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old, and a baby. That sounds... more normal?

-5-

I'm really looking forward to tonight, because it's DATE NIGHT!! With all these kids around (see above) and Dear Husband coming and going on TDY, we need to reconnect with each other and get back on the same page about a couple of things. Which will probably mean that we spend our kid-free night talking about... the kids!

-6-

I'm also looking forward to September, to my MCCW retreat here in Hawaii. I'm so hoping Maia can make it, and then maybe we can strategize (yeah, I just made up that word) about the blog and hopefully make it a little bit more vibrant again. If you are a Catholic military spouse living in the Pacific region (Hawaii, Guam, Japan, South Korea), ask your chapel about information and assistance. There is financial aid available to help with plane tickets!

-7-

This week everybody seemed to have a common conversation topic: the trial in Orlando. I wonder if there is every going to be a "return to normal" for any of the involved? Maybe there shouldn't be. But I'm also astonished about how much hate so many people pour unto Casey, the jurors, and anybody who disagrees with their opinion about what happened. How about prayers instead of judgement?

Have a great weekend, everybody!

Because you might be interested...

2011-07-07T01:06:00.003-05:00

...I know...I know...I promised a Space A post. I have it started. And I promise to finish it. I really do. Right after I pin one more thing...

However, if you are a nursing mama, or a mama who like beautiful clothes, or a lady who dreams of lovely dresses, have I found a dress you might be interested in!

Beautiful, yes? Jess from Running with Scissors posted this lovely tutorial. Folks...she made it from a vintage sheet!! Go check out the tutorial. I commented to ask if I could link, and I mentioned that it looked nursing compatible. She emailed back that she is a nursing mama, and she says that it is. She did mentioned that this dress needed to be lined, but I can think of one or two sheets I could sacrifice to this cause that probably wouldn't need to be.

So there you have it: lovely dress with all the technical requirements that a new mama needs.

Now please excuse me while I go "pin" some more...

Can I just tell you?!?!

2011-06-27T21:12:00.003-05:00

There is this thing called Pinterest. It is a bit amazing. And while it's not really connected to anything for this blog, I just have to share. Other people explain it much better than I do, but if you are even a little bit visually oriented and dream of being (or ARE) crafty, you will eat. this. site. up.

The best part, for me, is that I am actually DOING the ideas I have been "pinning":

Oh, yes, those gorgeous, poofy, hanging things? Found the picture on Pinterest, which links to the website (marthastewart.com, in this instance), and MADE them for Kiwi's birthday party which is this weekend. (Who gave my baby the permission to turn TWO?!?!?) They are turning out amazing (she says as she is surrounded in craft paper!) I am using them to add color to our gray monsoon-y days. In pastels, they would be fantastic for a baby shower or any other event.

Who feels accomplished? THIS GIRL!!!

Should you be so inclined to try out pinterest, leave a comment either with your email and I will send you an invite (you can request one off the website, too, it just takes a little longer to get to you).

And if you start pinning, you can see my "boards" at http://pinterest.com/maiaj/

Since this is a Catholic Military Mommas' blog...

2011-06-26T18:12:00.004-05:00

The topic: MCCW (Military Council of Catholic Women)

...the problem is that I really don't have much to add to this. I kinda, sorta, maybe, not really know what MCCW is. We don't have one here. I didn't have much involvement in the one at our last duty station because I didn't understand what MCCW was actually intended for.

(I had envisioned a group of women chatting while they iron altar clothes. At that point in my life I thought I was cut out for something different! Funny how a) that actually sounds sorta fun, now, and, b) that's NOT what MCCW is.)

...the point is, MCCW has been on the brain because:

1) the Catholic women here at Camp Humphreys, South Korea are trying to get one started

and

2) my lovely co-blogger, Ute, emailed me about the MCCW Pacific Region Conference, coming up in September. (She asked if maybe a weekend retreat would be nice. I think that a weekend retreat in HAWAII in which I would get to see HER is precisely what the Padre ordered!)

I've got questions, dear CMMs:

1) Do you participate in your MCCW chapter?

2) What about it do you like? What about it helps to fill your spiritual tank?

3) What about it would you improve?

4) What, if any, advice would you give to a chapter in the formation process?

I'd love to hear your thoughts!

~Maia

Encouragement

2011-06-18T20:19:00.003-05:00

Having come down in a cloud, the LORD stood with Moses there

and proclaimed his name, "LORD."

Thus the LORD passed before him and cried out,

"The LORD, the LORD, a merciful and gracious God,

slow to anger and rich in kindness and fidelity."

Moses at once bowed down to the ground in worship.

Then he said, "If I find favor with you, O Lord,

do come along in our company.

This is indeed a stiff-necked people; yet pardon our wickedness and sins,

and receive us as your own."

Exodus 34:8-9

~*~

It's Sunday morning, here in South Korea, and we are not at Mass. A stomach bug stealth-attacked. While we are rallying, a bit, we decided that the possibility of projectile vomiting at church was not exactly...reverent...

Additionally, the last time I thought we had rallied from something like this, we ended up relapsing. Dramatically. And then I spent a week in agony as everyone we knew got sick.

Today's readings, however, are speaking to my heart. So in case you, like me, are often herding littles during Mass and not getting the chance to really be...reverent...I urge you to read these ones before (or after, as often is my case).

~*~

Mend your ways, encourage one another,

agree with one another, live in peace,

and the God of love and peace will be with you.

2 Corinthians 13:11

And lest you think I've forgotten:

Happy Father's Day! Hug your honey and thank your priest!

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

2011-06-16T19:45:00.002-05:00

Wordless stories of contentment and joy!

{{pretty}}

(rainbow around the sun)

{{happy}}

(at home with my in-laws...love them!)

{{funny}}

(because a sword is really only the best way to cut a watermelon)

{{real}}

(summertime uniform)

(please note the strategically placed bowl to hide naked baby!)

Homecomings

2011-06-15T17:43:00.002-05:00

Ever notice that "homecoming" takes on a different tone in the military?

There are THE Homecomings, which, of course, are when soldiers come home.

But then there are the other homecomings...the ones from vacations or at the end of a PCS (one that is really a home-leaving followed by a home-coming). The funny thing about these homecomings is that they are quite perspective-based. I forget, most times, where HOME really is and find myself referring to my parents' house, my in-laws house, AND where we currently live as "home". My husband and I both do this. It gets rather confusing.

We are, currently, "home" now. And by that I do mean that we survived our Space A flight and are back in South Korea. Our time with family was too wonderful, and it feels weird and awkward to be here. A place that I regarded as home really doesn't feel like home. Even though my husband only left our apartment here about 3 weeks ago, that didn't stop dust and dirt from seeping through the cracks and coating all the surfaces and all our possessions. It's called "Yellow Dust" and it is one of the banes of my existence. When we walked in, the smells were all wrong; the proportions seemed foreign; it was as though we were walking into a new house that was already populated with our things. Even our things, mostly acquired here or borrowed from the Army, seemed unfamiliar.

{{I'll get more into the Space A flight in my next post. (And on that note, it would be much better to have this be a discussion, so if you have experience in this area or have questions, be prepared to weigh in!)}}

I suppose my rambling, and you'll have to excuse me -- I haven't yet reached a normal state of mind, is to reiterate something I feel quite sure I have mentioned here before. And this is that the military life sets us up to understand something very integral to our human condition. Namely, that we are always searching for Home. We are always glimpsing Home, usually in the faces of those we love, but are ever in pursuit.

In this frame of mind, this is some reading this week that has inspired me and helped capture some peace in my upturned brain:

1) This old post from Ann Voskamp's blog

2) While on that note, combing through her blog, A Holy Experience, and reading her book, One Thousand Gifts.

3) And this spot-on post by a very sweet lady (thank you, Cynthia, for your thought-filled writing).

4) My stand-by for inspiration, groundedness, and common sense (as well as very practical advice such as "how to take a shower"): Like Mother, Like Daughter. I browse, read, re-read, internalize, and it usually gives me the shove I need to get moving.

How do you get your brain into gear when things are in upheaval?

7 Quick Takes: Hello, Again!

2011-06-10T10:43:00.004-05:00

~1~

~2~

The above picture is inserted in place of the thousand words explaining my extended absence from this blog. It sums up my current frame of mind, and every time I look at it I see a another way that it does this. Prayers appreciated.

~3~

Added to this frame of mind is the fact that we've been traveling. Just before Easter, the kids and I boarded a Space A flight from Korea to the Pacific NW. Since Easter we have been to to West Linn, OR, Dallas, TX, Oceanside, OR (where the above picture was taken), and Arlington, WA.

~4~

This trip has been filled with many blessings, not the least of which is that my husband was able to take leave and join us as we visited family. The boys have gotten quality time with both sets of grandparents, their aunt, their uncle, and their godmothers. They have grown so much and learned so much since we left South Korea -- I am astounded and amazed!

~5~

It is time, I think to re-post Ute's tips on traveling with children, and I hope to share my experiences "flying Space Available". This can be a truly economical way to travel. If you are a military family, this is a great bonus! As soon as we are successfully back in SoKo (we attempt on Sunday), I'll let you know thoughts and tips, including South Korea-specifics.

~6~

Thanks to Wellness Mama, I have discovered the wonder that is coconut oil. While I've been in the States, I took advantage of available ingredients and tried out her natural toothpaste (she has since posted another, improved recipe that I plan to try). I won't go into HOW I discovered this, but I can tell you that this toothpaste recipe works really well for shaving. The ingredients (I used xylitol) work to exfoliate and then rinse off leaving behind the coconut oil for shaving. Rather than make the toothpaste for shaving, I now mix sugar and coconut oil together. It is fantastic for the skin, and your legs will thank you! I now use coconut oil for nearly everything and in nearly every room in the house!

~7~

My best friend's mother sent me a copy of Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts. Soul food. Thank you, Rosemary! Have you read it? Did you start your List?

Have a happy, blessed Friday! Don't forget to head over to Conversion Diary and read the other Quick Takes!

The Screwtape Letters - Week 7

2011-06-05T01:52:00.000-05:00

The Screwtape Letters
Week 7: Letters 22-26

Letter 22
Description of the Christian girl; God as the source of all pleasures; the smell of a loving family; music and silence as heavenly vs. hellish noise.

Have you been in a home that “smelled” of disinterested love? Did it change you? What about your own home?

Letter 23
The construction of a “historical Jesus” and its use for Satan’s goals; faith as a means vs. believing in the truth.

What’s the historical Jesus of our days and what does that say about our society? Do the gospels intend to give us historical facts? Read Luke 1:4, John 20:30-31, 1 Corinthians 15:3

Letter 24
Spiritual Pride

How does the desire to belong to a certain group turn into a temptation to sin? Have you witnessed any form of spiritual pride in yourself or others?

Letter 25
Change within the rhythm of life vs. the demand for absolute novelty; fashions in thought as a distraction from the real spiritual danger.

With constant changes forced upon us, are we as military spouses more or less likely to fall prey to the demand for absolute novelty and its consequences?

Letter 21
Unselfishness vs. charity; male and female views of unselfishness; the Generous Conflict illusion.

“She is the sort of woman who lives for others – you can always tell the others by their hunted expression.” Do you know any examples?

Have you experienced any incidents of the Generous Conflict illusion? What were the results? How can we avoid it?

The Screwtape Letters - Week 6

2011-06-02T02:58:00.000-05:00

The Screwtape Letters
Week 5: Letters 17-21

Letter 17
Gluttony: of Delicacy and of Excess.

Is Screwtape overrating Gluttony as a deadly sin, or are we underrating it?
Have you found yourself in the “All-I-want”-trap?

Letter 18
Love = “the good of oneself is to be the good of one another”; being in love = “a highly-colored and distorted version of love”.

Do you agree that marriage is the result of being in love, but that love is the result of being married?

Letter 19
Speculations about God’s intentions; life stations as raw material for the spiritual life..

Do you find it easy to believe that God’s real motive for creating us and taking care of mankind is love and only love?

Letter 20
Satan’s strategy of distorting “sexual taste”

“We are … making the role of the eye in sexuality more and more important and at the same time making its demands more and more impossible.”
Where do you experience this the most? How can we counteract this strategy?

Letter 21
Men’s false sense of ownership, especially ownership-in-Time.

Is there anything in your life that you feel entitled to because it is ‘really not asking much’?

Never forget!

2011-05-30T20:21:00.003-05:00

O God,
by whose mercy the faithful departed find rest,
look kindly on your departed veterans
who gave their lives in the service of their country.
Hold all these brave souls in the palm of your hand,
comfort them and their families.
Send angels of protection, love, and comfort
to all the service men and women still at war,
and bring them home safely.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

Charity - How NOT to do it

2011-05-23T01:17:00.003-05:00

.
"Feed the hungry!" It's one of the works of mercy, and charity in action. One of my favorite things about our military community, especially the Catholic community, is that everybody is ready to help each other out at a moment's notice to compensate for the lack of extended families. When I had little girl, I didn't need to worry about cooking dinner for three weeks. Some ladies from our troop, and especially my MCCW friends, brought us delicious dinners, and when Dear Husband had to leave for 10 days recently, I still had leftovers in the freezer that helped me feed my kids without having to spend much time in the kitchen (and consequently let me keep my sanity).

I appreciated it so much that I was eager to give back. So when one of the MCCW had her first baby the other day, I cheerfully signed up to bring her and her husband a meal. Never mind that that particular day turned out be unusally busy for us. I was determined to make it happen, and to deliver that meal hot, and no later than 5 p.m.

I don't believe that Friday the 13th brings you bad luck. But I do believe in Murphy's law. And so all the things that could go wrong, went wrong. Cooking took longer than I expected (Is there really anybody out there who only needs 30 minutes to cook those 30-minutes-meals?). Partly because I had to scrape some black off the surface of the chicken breasts. They kind of got burned when I was cutting all that fruit for my super healthy fruit salad dessert that I just HAD to add, as if a healthy meal wasn't enough. Then I realized that I didn't even know the address. So I turned on the computer to find out the address, wrote it on a piece of paper along with the new Mom's phone numbers, and turned the computer off again. Then I promptly lost that piece of paper. By that time I was already running out of time, and my three kids weren't ready yet. Of course both my kids in diapers had to be changed before we could leave. And since they hadn't had naps that day, no child was very cooperative. I put them in their car seats and in a hurry turned the computer on again, memorized the street address, and hastily wrote the phone number on my palm.

It was a nightmare. I drove in the car with a screaming baby and two unhappy older kids. I couldn't read the numbers on my palm right, and ended up calling the wrong numbers. Although I knew the general direction, I couldn't find the right street. The friend I called about the new Mom's phone number was driving herself and couldn't help me right away. But at some point, after 5 pm of course, I found the right street. Not surprisingly I rememebered the street number incorrectly and consequently parked a loooong way from their house. I dragged the baby's car seat and the food with the two big kids running along. And big girl falling and busting a knee.

It was about at this time that I realized that my charitable act had caused me to act far more uncharitably than it was worth. Sure, the receiving couple was very appreciative and glad that I came (eventually). But in getting there I had yelled at my kids repeatedly ("Why did you poop? We are already late anyway!" "Get in the car NOW!" "I'm on the phone! Keep quiet or else!"), I had exhausted myself so much that I served my own family only sandwiches for dinner, I had broken the law (talking on a cell phone while driving), and I had opened the door for hurt pride and anger to take over my heart.

This epiphany came just in time so that at least I could stop on the sidewalk to comfort my daughter and kiss her booboo away. And to calm down and collect myself so that I could joyfully congratulate the new Mom.

Isn't there a saying that charity starts at home? I hope I have learned my lesson.

More than a thousand words...

2011-05-18T03:14:00.002-05:00

The Screwtape Letters - Week 5

2011-05-14T22:44:00.000-05:00

Letter 13
True pleasure as a way to find one’s true self; being one’s true self as a way to receive grace; feeling vs. action.

Have you ever been in a situation where you favored the “right” things over the ones you liked best? How did this affect your faith? What are true pleasures for you that can draw you closer to God?

Letter 14
Humility. True humility = gratitude for all selves. False humility = dishonest depreciation of one’s God-given talents. Psalm 8.

In what talent of yours and in what talent of a neighbor can you truly rejoice for the glory of God? Where do you struggle?

Letter 15
Living in the present as a moment touching eternity vs. losing oneself in the future.

“We want a whole race perpetually in pursuit of the rainbow’s end, never honest, nor kind, nor happy now, but always using as mere fuel wherewith to heap the altar of the future every real gift which is offered them in the Present.”
Have you ever planned to be more faithful in the future, just as soon as the kids are bigger, you have finished your degree, your husband’s job situation improves? How realistic is that?

Letter 16
Church shopping vs. a receptive attitude; flaws of the unnamed vicar and Fr. Spike; party churches.

Read Romans 14 vs. Colossians 2:20-23 and Matthew 5:17-48 vs. Matthew 12:1-8. In the light of these scripture passages, how closely should we follow the rules that differ from parish to parish?

How can we approach the dilemma that God wants us to be receptive to any nourishment that is going, but at the same time uses servants in His church that are only human and can therefore possess flaws like the unnamed vicar and Fr. Spike?

7 Quick Takes - May 13, 2011

2011-05-14T01:06:00.003-05:00

I'm posting this late, because Blogger wouldn't let me log on yesterday. Really, really!

-1-

Dear Husband has been gone for over a week now. He’ll be back in a few days though, it’s been just long enough to be a little test for later when he deploys for (a lot) longer. I still have all three kids living with me, so it’s been a success! No, seriously, it hasn’t been that bad. A few surprises though: the baby was totally easy to handle, it’s been the two big kids that occasionally put me to the limits. And: unfortunately, the big kids are now big enough to really understand that Daddy is gone and to miss him.

-2-

Taking three kids three and under to the commissary is not fun. Even though I kept the shopping list relatively short, and let the two big ones be my “helpers” to keep them busy, it ended up taking too long for their attention span and tantrums started… Do you have any advice on how to make shopping trips with lots of little kids smooth and successful?

-3-

Also in the commissary: a lady unknown to me congratulated me on my new baby. It was the first time this happened with little girl, but I remember it happening all the time with big boy and big girl. I’m wondering… either I haven’t been out and about as much with little girl (possible), or people just don’t feel the need as much to express their joy when there are already two other, not so much older kids. Hmm.

-4-

By the way, we also survived Mass last Sunday. This also went better than I expected. One thing that helped a lot was that I put little girl in the sling where she promptly fell asleep. And that I let big boy build a tower with all the song books and bibles around us. I think he ended up with 10 or so “blocks” as he called them. But for the first time ever we had to leave during Mass to go potty. So I had to walk with all three kids to the front of the church and go through the side door to get to the bathrooms. Must have been quite a sight. But effective: after Mass, I got plenty of help carrying our stuff and walking the kids to the car.

-5-

Also at this Mass: I found half a host in our pew ON THE FLOOR! When I first saw it, it didn’t register with me immediately that this is not some random trash lying there. But when I realized what it was, I almost freaked out. I didn’t know what to do, if I could pick it up or not. I kept a very sharp eye on the kids to make sure they didn’t accidentally step on it or pick it up and eat it. Thankfully, they didn’t notice, and when I went to get communion, I asked Father what to do. He told me to bring it to the front and that he would take care of it. So I picked it up – nervously – and brought it to the altar. I’m not sure what they are, but I know that there are strict procedures to follow in order to “dispose” of such hosts. I’m still puzzled though as to how it could end up on the floor.

-6-

Call me spoiled, but living in “paradise” I do expect good weather all year round. The last week however, we saw nothing but clouds and rain. Just a little reminder, I guess, not to take things for granted. But I got the message now, I promise, so dear St. Peter, can you please send some sunshine back our way?

-7-

On Monday we will get professional pictures taken of little girl. We won a free photo shoot last fall, by a lady from our troop who is starting a photography business, and the pictures turned out beyond beautiful. Now she said she needed to practice taking newborn pictures and asked me if she could take pictures of little girl for free. Well, yes, you may. I’ll post one here, I promise!

Have a great weekend, everybody! And read Jennifer’s and all the other Quick Takes at www.conversiondiary.com!

7 Quick Takes - May 6, 2011

2011-05-06T02:06:00.005-05:00

-1-

Little girl is 6 weeks today. Time flies when you are having fun! Dear Husband and I had a conversation the other day in which I told him: "Having three kids is easier than I expected." He asked back "You think this is easy?" Hmm... I'd be lying if I said that. I do have my moments when I feel overwhelmed and act accordingly (also known as Bad Mom Moments). But overall it isn't as excruciating as I had feared. I enjoy having my little baby and snuggling with her makes up for a lot of the stress. In short: I recommend having three!

-2-

Very helpful to me is our baby swing. At first little girl didn't like it, but that might have been due to our lame attempts to start out with the lower of the six speed settings. Now that we always put it on the highest setting, she enjoys it very much. Which makes me wonder: why do the manufacturers even bother with different settings? In my experience all babies will happily fall asleep at a speed that would (in a relation) make a grownup puke, but seem completely unaffected by that little rocking the manufacturers deem suitable for newborns.

-3-

I don't know why, but with every baby my let-down reflex gets stronger, meaning borderline painful. It is definitely a sensation that can't be ignored. And it also happens often, and at the oddest times of the day, not just when I'm getting ready to nurse. So I decided to make the best out of it, and use it as a reminder to say an "Our Father" or another prayer everytime I feel it. It works like a charm, I'm definitely praying more these days!

-4-

Let's talk about "Extreme Couponing". I have watched 4 episodes so far. But I have to say, the stories are all kind of similar, don't you think? People get huge amounts of stuff for almost nothing. And almost all of them start to stockpile incredible amounts of grocieries and toiletries. Some of them more than they could possibly use up in a lifetime. After all, there is only so much deodorant you can use in a day. My question is: if everybody started extreme couponing, how long do you think it will take before the companies stop offering coupons? I will certainly not go to such extremes (one reason being is that I can't find 30-60 hours a week to do it). But I have clipped a few coupons this week and intend to use them!

-5-

Dear Husband's and my 6th wedding anniversary is coming up! It's the third year in a row that we won't be able to spend it together, since he is on a training mission for a while. I guess I couldn't call myself a good military wife if it were any different, right?

-6-

In this context I'm giving you another C.S. Lewis quote:

"There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them."

-7-

Baby is sleeping, so I'm going to bed too! Go check out the other Quick Takes at Jennifer's Conversion Diary!

A new beginning?

2011-05-01T23:47:00.003-05:00

I never imagined to be glad about the death of a person. But when I heard the news today that Usama bin Laden had been killed, I felt a sense of relief that came close to being happy. Interesting that it happened on Divine Mercy Sunday. Let's hope that this is the beginning of the end of violence and hate. In honor of St. Michael (who in my opinion has done a good job today), pray with me:

Saint Michael, the Archangel, defend us in battle,
Be our protection against the malice and snares of the devil.
We humbly beseech God to command him,
And do thou, O prince of the heavenly host,
By the divine power thrust into hell Satan
And the other evil spirits who roam through the world
Seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

And also:

God our Father,
Maker and lover of peace,
To know you is to live,
And to serve you is to reign.
All our faith is in your saving help;
Protect us from men of violence
And keep us safe from weapons of hate.
Grant this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

And let's not forget that we have a very strong ally in Heaven now with the newly beatified John Paul II! What a day... By the way, one more thing happened: our baby girl was baptized today! Yay for another child of God!

Happy Easter!

2011-04-22T02:04:00.002-05:00

Hope you have some great days with family and loved ones! And for some insightful Good Friday reading, go to Simcha Fisher's blog post "All sin is disgusting".

5 Things I Don't Need to Worry About This Week

2011-04-13T02:17:00.002-05:00

Having to go to the commissary. Because last week when we came so close to a government shutdown my Dear Husband went to the commissary (we had false information that the commissaries would close too) and filled up both the fridge and the pantry. Even though there is no government shutdown now, it is still nice not having to take three kids under the age of four to the store. At least for a while.

Getting bored. With baby's arrival my to-do-list has greatly increased (wash all the girls clothes! Send out those birth announcements!) while my amount of time available has greatly diminished. That's a dilemma, but one I'm able to ignore very well as I'm sitting on the couch cuddling baby.

Losing my pregnancy weight. Yep, that might sound like bragging, but two days after baby was born I came from the hospital 15 pounds lighter and have since then lost all the remaining weight. If she hadn't gained 11 ounces in 11 days, I'd actually be worried about my milk supply. As it is, I'm enjoying diminishing the stash of German candy that my parents brought us when they visited us in February.

Finding future playmates for baby. Since she was born, two more babies arrived to families in Dear Husband's unit, two more are scheduled just for this month, and four more later. Yep, it's been 9 months since the buys came back from deployment.

Running out of things to worry about for real. Like the nuclear disaster in Japan. Controlling my temper and showing more patience around the kids. Getting a date for baby's baptism... And so on.

What are things YOU don't have to worry about this week?

(yes, this is an adaptation of the Time Magazine column "5 things you don't need to worry about this week".)

Reminders

2011-04-07T03:04:00.003-05:00

It's a little astonishing how easy it is to get swept away by a bad attitude.

*Grumble grumble grumble...why didn't he take out the trash?!...the stinkin' bag was right there in front of the door...grumble, grumble, grumble...why do these kids have to move SO slow?...I KNOW they can move fast!...why is there RAIN?!?!...so gray!...grumble grumble grumble...*

This was my litany this morning as I attempted to herd my ~~cats~~ boys through the drizzle (NOT radioactive, thankyouverymuch) into the car so we could get to the commissary. (It is a fact of life that, when you run out of toilet paper it is time to go shopping.) I was not in fantastic mood. There were just too many quality things to get worked up over, and I was taking advantage of every single one. Including the fact that we were out of toilet paper.

Last week, the transmission on my hoopdie "went out" or wherever these things go when they don't work anymore. Because of that we had shuffled car seats into our other car and then into a friend's car (thank you, Ashley!) before they landed back in my hoopdie. In the joy that is securing car seats in old cars without latch systems, I had forgotten to get the seat belt lock clip out of my husband's car. I remembered this as I trudged to the car. A fact that I added to my grumbling litany. A fact that really was due to my own forgetfulness but that I was content to grumble about generally without really getting into the details of who was to blame.

As I opened the car door, I saw that simple piece of metal sitting on the driver's side seat. Left by a husband who listens, even when I think that he is not. By a husband who notices little details for safety and attends to them.

Sometimes all it takes is a simple piece of metal to stop us in our grumbling tracks and remind us that we are loved.

Patron Saint of Forgetfulness

2011-04-04T01:42:00.003-05:00

When, please God, I get to heaven, I hope I'm the intercessor for the forgetful. Perhaps I'll sit next to St. Anthony and together we will plead to the Father for things lost and misplaced and forgotten. I'd like to be the patroness for mothers with Pregnancy Brain and mothers with lots of children who suffer from Not Pregnant Brain (NPB), and all rather forgetful, spacey souls -- because we need a patron. Perhaps we have one and we just forgot.

The problem with me is that I am half forgetful and half laid-back...and more than a half of procrastinator. These things alone are problematic. Together they are disastrous. My house is a swirling black hole where started projects and good intentions go to disappear.

Things would be slightly better if I could learn to at least look at clocks and calendars. Maybe if I learned to care what time it is or what day of the month it is I could have a better handle on life, in general.

Things would probably run significantly more smoothly if I learned how to be a little bit more proactive instead of sitting back to let things happen as they may.

Certain things, like NFP, would probably feel less like a game of roulette if I was halfway decent at looking at calendars and keeping track of things. ("And tonight, folks, we play...Wheel...of...FERTILITY!!!" Really, it's quite astonishing and more than a little sad that we only have two children so far.)

Things, and namely feast days, would get celebrated with more intentionality if I looked at a Catholic calendar more frequently or with more regularity. I love perusing Lacy's blog and finding ideas to do with JB and Kiwi and my religious education students. Unfortunately I often don't see her wonderful ideas until AFTER the feast day.

Fortunately, with or without a patron, God takes care of us space cadets. Most recently, on the Feast of the Annunciation, he got us to Mass. While we strive for daily Mass, our post priest is often called away to other duties. Since this convenient (and English) option is hit-or-miss, we (meaning me with boys in tow) are prone to get out of habit. On the Feast of the Annunciation, the chaplain for our Catholic community had to be with his soldiers. I hadn't looked at a calendar much less a Catholic calendar. (This problem may have been alleviated had my Magnificat arrived here in South Korea, but with the delay of APO, I only JUST received the March edition a few days ago...now...in April.) I was living date oblivion. Since we had nowhere to be, I wasn't looking at clocks. I don't wear a watch. I was existing in time oblivion. I love it until I realize I've missed something.

On the Feast of the Annunciation we headed out to the local Air Force base to go shopping (better selection than what we have!). As we drove past the little chapel, I glanced at the car clock and though, "I wonder what time their daily Mass is here?" So we pulled over to check the reader board outside. Mass would start in 20 minutes. So we went in and sat. (The term "sat" being loosely used here since toddlers boys rarely-to-never "sit".) Mass started. The readings began (which, by the grace of God, I was able to actually attend to).

"Hmmm..." thought I. "Hmmmmm...these...sound...like...not-Lent readings...these...sound...like........ohhhhhhh!"

I am thankful that, though I am forgetful, God is not. I am thankful that he takes care of the important stuff, since I seem to get overwhelmed with the unimportant. I pray that, amidst my own wayward, absent-minded SELF, God guides me to heaven. And I pray, if I am remembered, that I am patroness of absent-mindedness. For I am sure that, whole only in heaven and surrounded by God's perfection, I will remember to plead for intercession for things forgotten for all those who have forgotten to pray.

The Screwtape Letters - Week 4

2011-04-02T23:59:00.001-05:00

Letters 10-12

Letter 10

The World as one of the great standard temptations, bad friendships (Proverbs 18:24, 22:24-25, James 4:4, John 15:18-19)

Have you ever been in friendships that threatened to lead you away from God? How did you realize and/or remedy it?

Letter 11
Joy, Fun, Jokes, Flippancy

Letter 12
Guilt as a reason to avoid effective contact with God (1 John 1:5-2:2), the safest road to Hell.

Is there good and bad guilt?

“It does not matter how small the sins are provided that cumulative effect is to edge the man away from the Light and out into the Nothing.”
Do you agree? Do you know any examples?

Born on the Solemnity of the Announciation!

2011-03-28T13:56:00.004-05:00

As I was starting to write a Quick Takes post on Friday my contractions intensified, and off we went to the hospital. Labor was not too long, and ended rather fast... with Dear Husband being the hero of the day and delivering our baby by himself, as no hospital staff was in the room at the time!!

And here SHE is, 8 pounds 14 ounces, 20 1/4 inches, healthy as can be:

I think the Solemnity of the Announciation is a pretty cool day to be born. Especially since her middle name is a reference to Our Lady. A "blog" name has yet to be determined.

Thank you everybody for all your prayers!

The Screwtape Letters - Week 3

2011-03-23T17:16:00.002-05:00

The Srewtape Letters
Week 3: Letters 8-9

Letter 8
Undulation, War aim of Satan and God (Ephesians 1:3-10, 4:10-16, 1 John 4:7-12), Spiritual dry spells (Matthew 26:36-46, 27:46, Hewbrews 5:7-9).

Why do the “troughs” of spiritual life encourage more growth than the “peaks”? What have been trough or peak seasons for you, and how did you get through them?

Letter 9
Sensual temptations, attacks on faith during dry spells.

“Never forget that when we are dealing with any pleasure in its healthy and normal and satisfying form, we are, in a sense, on the Enemy’s ground. … All we can do is to encourage the humans to take the pleasures which our Enemy has produced, at times, or in ways, or in degrees, which He has forbidden.”
If sin is only the misuse of the good things God gave us, what does that mean for our society/our personal life?

“If you can once get him to the point of thinking that ‘religion is all very well up to a point’, you can feel quite happy about his soul. A moderated religion is as good for us as no religion at all – and more amusing.”
Have you ever felt skeptical about “excessive religion” and considered to moderate it?

Pray for the military families from Japan!

2011-03-21T13:32:00.002-05:00

This morning I went to drop off my children at our post's Child Development Center, where they usually stay two mornings a week (today, because I have a doctor''s appointment, since I'm still pregnant!). Usually on Mondays I make new appointments for two weeks later, but today I was informed that they didn't take new reservations until April. My first reaction? Not very happy, of course. Am I not entitled to this service?

But then I heard the explanation. Military families from Japan are being evacuated to our post, and they want to make sure they can accommodate all their children. Can you imagine being in their situation? After spending many days in suspense and anxiety about whether or not they would be hit with a fatal dose of radiation from a nuclear meltdown, they have to pack a very limited amount of stuff, prepare their children to leave their familiar surroundings, say goodbye to husband/Daddy (I don't think they evacuate they guys, do they?) and fly several hours to a place where they most likely don't know anybody and have to stay in - at best - a hotel room. Then you'd still be worried about your husband that you left behind and trying to entertain your children, with very limited mobility. How glad I would be in this situation if my children could go to a center where they can play with (new) friends, lots of toys, and being supervised by teachers whose nerves are most likely a lot calmer than mine.

So, as usually, what I consider a small inconvenience, is actually a huge blessing for somebody else.

Please keep these families in your prayers, as well as all the people in Japan who can't just leave. And especially the workers at the nuclear plant and their heroic, selfless efforts to save everybody from a big disaster.

7 Quick Takes - Marching through March

2011-03-18T00:14:00.003-05:00

~1~

It's one of those days when you look up and realize that you passed the halfway mark through March and are still trying to wrap your brain around the fact that it is 2011.

~2~

We've been to our little post's version of the ER (it's a clinic) three times in the past week. All for my youngest son, Kiwi. It doesn't seem to be surprising anyone in our extended family or any of our friends who really know the child. It's still a little early to tell, but this may be our ER-child. He likes to jump off things, has no fear, and has a propensity to catch every living bug (by which I mean sickness, but he will probably like catching bugs, too, since they terrify his older brother and he delights in terrifying his older brother) and then run high fevers. As we speak he is jumping on the bed, again, which is what landed us in the ER After Hours Clinic to begin with. Excuse me for a moment...

~3~

On St. Patrick's Day, JB turned 3. It was a busy day: between spending the afternoon at the clinic (for Kiwi's 104 fever) and a daddy who couldn't get home for cake and candles, JB got a bit short-changed in the celebration department. And, because he is now catching his brother's fever, his party has to be postponed. This sweet, little child who made me a mother doesn't think that he was short-changed at. all. When he opened up his box of Lucky Charms (because we are big spenders, yes we are) in the morning, he hooted with delight and crowed, "This is my best birthday EVER!" And that box of cereal was on sale AND had a coupon!

~4~

Because Dad couldn't get away from work for the official cake and candles, before bed, I put three candles in a bowl of ice cream so JB would have the fun of candles. He huffed. He puffed. And he (barely) blew them out.

His bedtime prayer a little while later: "...and thank you, Jesus, that I blew all my candles out by myself finally. And for the people that have no good cookin'....MOM, I blew them out with my mouth not my hand!...oh yeah, AMEN!!"

~5~

The "people who have no good cookin'" is referring to the people in Japan. As we have talked about the earthquake and the tsunami and the nuclear troubles, my preschooler (!) has understood that people have lost their homes and their things...and their good cookin'.

~6~

Generally I steer clear of the news. (Translation: I was pretty sure that Jen Fulwiler had been interviewing my brain when I read her article Confessions of an Apolitical Housewife.) Proximity has given me a bit of a different outlook on the earthquake/tsunami/nuclear situation in Japan, and I spend more time reading about this. Reading about military families begin this process, reminds me of a few months ago when I was eyeing our NEO (Noncombatant Evacuation Operation) bags nervously.

~7~

I'm getting antsy for spring and playing outdoors! I'm also antsy for spring cleaning! I'll be checking out the Fly Lady this week. Any other suggestions for some spring cleaning tips?

Now, go say a prayer for my lovely co-blogger, Ute, who (at last check) was still waiting to meet her baby face to face and then click on over to 7 Quick Takes Friday at Conversion Diary!

The Screwtape Letters - Week 2

2011-03-12T14:06:00.001-06:00

Letter 5
War; Suffering; the “real business” of demons: undermining faith and preventing the formation of virtues; Preparing for death
Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) #2307-2317

Letter 6
Dealing with anxiety and fear; Focus on the state of mind vs. the thing itself; abstract benevolence and concrete malice
Matthew 6: 34, 7:25-27, Luke 12:22-26; Romans 8:31-32, 38-39; Philippians 4:6-7

Letter 7
Awareness of evil spirits; extreme life views; causes vs. religion
1 Corinthians 1:10-13, 10:1-5, 12

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

1) Who is more likely to go to heaven? The soldier dying on the battle field or the old person in a nursing home?

2) Screwtape writes “There is nothing like suspense and anxiety for barricading a human’s mind against the Enemy.” and “It is your business to see that the patient never thinks of the present fear as his appointed cross, but only of the things he is afraid of.”
As a military spouse dealing with your husband’s deployment, is this something you can relate to?

3) “We want the Church to be small not only that fewer men may know the Enemy but also that those who do may acquire the uneasy intensity and the defensive self-righteousness of a secret society or a clique.”
Have you witnessed this particular one of Screwtape’s strategies at some point? What could be a defense mechanism?

The Face of Failure

2011-03-10T20:54:00.004-06:00

"You could give up yelling."

This was my husband's suggestion for my Lenten penance when we talked about it a couple of weeks ago. I had just mentioned that I was thinking of giving up coffee -- an ultimate sacrifice for this woman. I bristled at his suggestion. Here I was thinking of giving up something REALLY HARD FOR ME AND DIDN'T HE KNOW HOW MUCH BETTER I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING ABOUT YELLING, AND BY THE WAY IS HE PARENTING THE SAME CHILDREN I AM?!?!?!...this is one of those reasons Why I Love My Husband...

It's tough to take criticisms and suggestions from someone else. I remember one year not so very long ago my mom asked my sister and me what we thought she needed to work on and what we thought she should give up for Lent. It takes a lot of humility to ask that question. I was still living at home, and since teenagers and early-twenty-somethings are gifted with this know-it-all-wisdom, I know I had a laundry list of things I thought my mother could do better ("Well, MOM, you could start by letting me stay out later and not nag me about every little thing and maybe stop leaving spiritual reading out all over the house...") But, for all my mom's humility and for all my hubris, I kept my mouth shut. Partially from a God-sent notion that perhaps I had some planks to remove before I started pointing out splinters and mostly from paranoia that this might be a trap.

...

So this Lent I am working on not taking out my frustration and anxiety by snapping at the ones I love. And I am working on being grateful to my husband for his suggestion,

because it is hard, too, to correct with love the ones you love. (I totally failed right out of the gate, by the way.)

Some thoughts that are inspiring me this Friday:

~1~

"The directions on the packet of flower seeds read: 'Seeds need darkness to germinate.'" (line one from Fr. Peter John Cameron's Editorial in The Magnificat Lenten Companion)

~2~

"There is a temptation to see Lent as a time of self-improvement, during which my focus is on myself. However, my sin shows me that my hope can never be in myself. My only hope is that someone save me." (from the beginning of Fr. Richard Veras's Lenten Penance Service in The Magnificat Lenten Companion)

~3~

"Fast from judging others;
Feast on Christ dwelling in them.

Fast from apparent darkness;
Feast on the reality of light.

Fast from pessimism;
Feast on optimism.

Fast from thoughts of illness;
Feast on the healing power of God.

Fast from words that pollute;
Feast on phrases that purify.

Fast from anger;
Feast on patience.

Fast from worry;
Feast on Divine Providence.

Fast from unrelenting pressure;
Feast on unceasing prayer.

Fast from complaining;
Feast on appreciation.

Fast from hostility;
Feast on non-resistence.

Fast from bitterness;
Feast on forgiveness.

Fast from anxiety;
Feast on Hope.

Fast from yourself;
Feast on a silent heart."

(taken from a friend's Facebook status and found, subsequently, over at EWTN)

Anecdotes from our everyday life

2011-03-07T23:06:00.004-06:00

.
One of the ladies in our troop is expecting her first child, so we had a baby shower for her. Before I left, I tried to explain the concept of a baby shower to Elmo. "Mama is going to see Ms V, she is going to have a baby and so we give her some presents." I guess that wasn't a very good explanation, because when I came home he immediately wanted to know: "Where is the baby? Where is the baby? Please, Mama!!! Where is the baby?" ... Thank goodness I had at least brought home some cake, if not a baby, so I could distract him. I can't wait until he sees his little sibling and to watch his reaction!

My pregnancy brain is growing new dimensions. This evening, I prepared a chicken baken, turned on the oven properly, and even thought of setting the timer for 30 minutes. And when it rang, I walked into the kitchen, and found... the casserole still sitting on the counter. Unbaked. Well, at least the oven was thoroughly pre-heated by now.

I thought I had gotten used to living on post. But the following situation still left me puzzled:
Outside our fenced-in backyard is a big PT field that the troops also use for other training. The other day two groups of soldiers in full gear practiced something with their weapons that involved a lot of yelling. For obvious reasons they didn't use ammunition, but I could hear their weapons click when they ran by. One might think that would look a little frightening to a small child? But my kids (2 and 3) climbed up on the patio chairs to get a better look, waved at the men and yelled "Hi! Good morning" at them, and then proceeded to serenade them with the latest Sesame Street song. What a "normal" they grow up with...

The Screwtape Letters - Week 1

2011-03-02T19:41:00.003-06:00

.
Hi everybody!
It's time to start our study of the Screwtape Letters. This week is going to be about the preface and letters 1-4.

Preface
C.S. Lewis introduces the correspondence between Screwtape and Wormwood.
John 8:44

Letter 1
Jargon vs. argument; the ordinariness of “real life” vs. ideas; the “abominable advantage of the Enemy”.
Hebrews 2:10-18

Letter 2
The Church as the body of Christ vs. the church itself; humility vs. running up a “favorable credit balance in the Enemy’s ledger”.
Matthew 16:18; 1 Corinthians 12:12-27; Ephesians 4:1-6; Revelation 7:9-17
Luke 18:9-14; Romans 3:21-28; Ephesians 2:1-10; 1 John 1:5-10

Letter 3
The patient’s mother; Focus on inner life vs. elementary duties; praying for a loved one’s soul vs. actual treatment; irritating habits; double standards in offending and taking offense.
Luke 3:7-14; Matthew 7:1-5; Romans 12:10-18; James 5:13-18

Letter 4
Praying; “whatever their bodies do affects their souls”, Prayer and feelings; Prayer and imagination.
Exodus 33:17-23; 1 John 4:12; Romans 8:26-27

Discussion Questions:

1) Do you believe in the existence of evil spirits? Why or why not? Read the CCC (Catechism of the Catholic Church) #391-395, #2116-2117, #2850-2854

2) Have you discovered any of Screwtape’s tactics at work in your life? What could be an effective defense mechanism?

3) How can fellow believers strengthen or possibly weaken your faith?

4) What is the best way to pray for ourselves and for other people?

5) Does how you feel influence how you think about your relationship with God? Read Jennifer Fulwiler's post "He is not a means, and our joy is not the end"

I'm really interested to see what you guys have to say. I'll post my comments in a little bit as well.

Cloudy with the Prospect of Sun

2011-02-28T19:20:00.005-06:00

The month of February gets to me. This year, between being far from family and country is adding to the oppression of cloudy skies and general malaise. You may have noticed that I didn't post at all in February. I have a (one) draft that proves I tried. But nary an actual post. However March has marched in, and, though still dismal, I'm doing my best to pull out of the doldrums! My heart is anxious for Lent. I am really excited, and I am grateful for this "liturgical deadline" (are deadlines as wonderful for you as they are for me?) for some Spring Cleaning of the Soul.

In that vein, I'd like to share a quote with you from Holiness for Housewives by Hubert von Zeller:

This is the first lesson for the Christian wife and mother today: to let go of what may once have been -- and under other circumstances might now be -- a recollected self, and take on, with both hands, the plan of God. Indeed it is the lesson for every Christian in every age: it is the gospel principle of dying on one plane in order to live on another.

With Lent beginning next week, what is God saying to you? What are you reading or listening to? You are, all, in my prayers as you discern your Lenten paths! Please pray for me, as well!

7 Quick Takes - February 25, 2011

2011-02-25T17:35:00.003-06:00

The "Baby is coming soon!" Edition

-1-

Over two weeks ago I had another ultrasound where the technician calculated that the baby is already 5 pounds 13 ounces. Three more weeks now to my due date. Can you say "big baby"?

-2-

Clearly the baby is running out of space. Even when I'm just sitting still and the baby isn't moving much, my belly usually isn't round anymore. You can see a knee or whatever sticking out.

-3-

I'm done being pregnant... I can't wait until I don't feel as uncomfortable and clumsy as a stranded whale anymore. And maybe get my brain back. Geesh, I even forgot our goddaughter's 1st birthday!!! Happy Birthday, baby R! Love you!

-4-

I'm not sure though if I'm ready for another baby!! Everything is set up, but the thought of another little human being being totally dependent on me is kind of scary. Yeah, I know... kind of late for that insight.

-5-

We might have names picked out. Certainly for a girl, but the boy's name is still not 100% clear. Dear Husband gave in to my suggestion, but he made it clear that he did so out of expiration, not because he really likes the name. I'm not sure what to think of that...

-6-

My parents are leaving today, going back to Germany. Of course they had been secretly hoping that the baby would come early, because now they won't see it until it is more than one year old. But nevertheless we had a good time, and probably more so because I was able to do stuff with them instead of just sitting at home with a newborn.

-7-

I have the first week's worth of discussion questions and readings ready for the Screwtape Letter study. Our MCCW meeting is Wednesday, and that is when I'll post it on here too.

Have a great weekend and check out the other Quick Takes at www.conversiondiary.com!

Double Score

2011-02-12T14:37:00.002-06:00

Back when Dear Husband and I were still dating and he deployed for a year, I had a very close friend whose husband F was also deployed with the same squadron. I would hang out with her and her kids a lot, and there was many a red wine bottle killed when we spent our evenings together having long conversations about life and such. At that time the guys didn't have their own internet in their CHUs, 70 of them slept in one bunker and they had to walk two miles through the heat to call home. Dear Husband ended up calling once a week or so.
What I didn't know at the time is that F (who called like every other day) would regularly tell Dear Husband "Call your girl!", because otherwise I would have heard from him even less than I did. And I was always so happy when he called! To this day I'm grateful to my friend and her husband!
Right now the guys in my husband's current unit are gone for training for over a week. It's the first time for a new friend of mine, K, that her husband is gone since they have kids. Yesterday she had just one of those days... We were texting each other, and she told me all that went wrong and how much the kids were screaming. And then she wrote "And I just want to hear from J! Haven't heard anything so far." Dear Husband had called me for two minutes earlier that day, so I knew J was busy. Plus, they don't have very good cell phone reception. At the off chance that Dear Husband would read it at the right time, I texted him: "Do what F did with you and tell J to call his wife. She could use it."
About half an hour later I get a text from my friend K "My day just got a whole lot better. J called! It was only for a minute, but it was the best minute of my day!".
That's what I call a double score. J scored with his wife for calling her, and Dear Husband scored big time with me. Of course he does things all the the time for me, but that he did this because I asked him to is extra special to me. There will be lots of smooches waiting for him when he comes back!

A good read

2011-02-08T21:53:00.003-06:00

Thanks to Mrs. 2nd Lieutenant from For Where E'er We Go for finding and posting this great article about

The Domestic Monastery

A must read for all busy Moms who wonder about their spiritual life!

7 Quick Takes - February 4, 2011

2011-02-04T16:55:00.004-06:00

-1-

I'm preparing an 8-week study on C.S. Lewis's "The Screwtape Letters" for our MCCW group. I want to focus on

a) lessons we as CMMs can learn from the letters
b) reading relevant scripture passages
c) teaching what the official Catholic stand is on certain topics mentioned in the book.

I'm wondering if anybody is interested to follow along on this blog? Please comment...

-2-

My new pet pieve: people texting while slooowly walking through the commissary aisle, blocking all other shoppers.

-3-

It's still 6 weeks to my due date, but I had three contractions while shopping at the commissary today. Guess even the baby wants to get out of that place as fast as possible...

-4-

My parents are flying in tonight! I'm very excited. They will be staying for three weeks. Of course they are not-so-secretly hoping that the baby will come early.

-5-

I would be too, since I'm now in the "everything is so uncomfortable"-phase of pregnancy, if it weren't for the fact, that we still don't have a boy's name. It's difficult, I tell you. Dear Husband and I have totally different ideas about names. I wonder how we managed to agree on the real-life names for Elmo and Cookie Monster.

-6-

I tried to make an appointment for my Labor & Delivery -tour at my nearest military hospital. Well, the next available slot is three days before my due date. I admit, I was a little late in calling, but... really? Want to make a bet what comes first, baby or tour?

-7-

And since I'm so immersed right now in C.S. Lewis (see #1), I'll end with a quote of his:

Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.

Have a great and blessed weekend everybody, and don't forget to read all the other Quick Takes at Jennifer's Conversion Diary!

7 Quick Takes - January 28, 2011

2011-01-28T01:29:00.003-06:00

-1-

Similarly to Maia's #1 from last week, I can't come up with much these days that seems worth writing about... But I also feel bad about abandoning this blog. I don't know how to fix that right now, but I'll keep trying. When Maia and I decided to do this blog together as a team, one of the big reasons for me was "accountability". If this had been my own blog, it would have died a long time ago. I'm glad the plan is working out and the blog is still - somewhat - alive.

-2-

I did however post last week, and according to Maia it might have gone unnoticed because of problems with the time stamp on our posts. That's what you get when you start a blog using central time and then PCS to duty stations 20 hours apart... Anyway, if you missed it, here is the link to "A Happy Family".

-3-

My in-laws spent the last three weeks with us. Coincidentally I've been rereading C.S. Lewis's "Screwtape Letters". You know that chapter where Screwtape talks about the patient's mother?

"Bring fully into the consciousness of your patient that particular lift of his mother's eyebrows which he learned to dislike in the nursery, and let him think how much he dislikes it. Let him assume that she knows how annoying it is and does it to annoy - if you know your job he will not notice the immense improbability of the assumption. And, of course, never let him suspect that he has tones and looks which similarly annoy her. As he cannot see or hear himself, this is easily managed."

I was still far from being the gracious host and grateful daughter-in-law that I would like to be (because they are great folks, really). But keeping this paragraph in mind helped at least a little bit to promote harmony.

-4-

One revelation that came from having my in-laws over (and that I could have done without) is that my son is really that stubborn as I thought he is. I was told that he might be even more hard-headed than his father was as a child, and according to the stories, that's quite an "accomplishment". Sigh... Well, at least there is hope for the future, because -as you might have gathered from previous posts- I think that Dear Husband turned out quite well, after all.

-5-

In the meantime I'm rererereading Dr. Ray Guarendi's "Discipline That Lasts a Lifetime". Invaluable advice, and if you haven't read it, you MUST!! Not only is he a great expert (never mind that he is a trained psychologist, he is the father of 10 children!), but he also writes in a very humorous way. I know I would have less trouble with my son if I practiced his advice all the time...

-6-

... but I'm tired! And I have pregnancy brain like you wouldn't believe it! Last week I got a somewhat panicked phonecall from my mother who knew that I was by myself with the kids for a few days (husband away for training, and my in-laws gone to the neighbor islands).
"Are you O.K.? Is the baby O.K.? Everything else O.K.?" "Yes Mom, why?" "We haven't heard from you at all, and it's so not like you to forget your Dad's birthday!!" Ooooops...

-7-

And just to squeeze some more sympathy out of you: we had a relatively good day today, and when the kids were firmly planted on the couch watching Sesame Street, I started to relax. Just a little bit too early, because within the next 10 minutes my daughter had an incredible bout of diarrhea. On the couch. Fortunately she was sitting on a blanket that caught most of the mess. While I trying to calm her down and clean her up in the bathtub, I heard my son scream downstairs "Oh no! It broke!". Knowing that he was playing with a $1 toy watersnake filled with a liquid that stains anything on contact, I hurried down and quickly wiped up an ugly yellow mess all over the floor. Where I discovered a cockroach. And that it wasn't dead. Well, it was about 20 seconds later. And just as a little cherry on top, when I put my daughter's dirty clothes and the blanket in the washer, I dropped the open bleach bottle into the washing machine.
Anyway, just in time for "Elmo's World" I had everything back under control. Just business as usual when Dear Husband has to work late...

Check out more Quick Takes over at Jennifer's Conversion Diary. And have a great weekend, everybody!

Why I Love My Husband: Gratitude Edition

2011-01-24T20:02:00.003-06:00

It is a glaring fault of mine that I forget to be vociferously thankful for and of and to those people who are nearest to my heart. My husband, unfortunately, probably feels the brunt of this. Today, in a straw-that-broke-the-camel's-back sort of situation, I'm overwhelmed at how much he does for me and our family. This post should have been written long ago, but there is no better time to resolve to do better than the present. (And I suggest you head over to Kaitlin's delightful and faith-filled blog to see what this is all about and take part.) Without further ado...

1. He has a Ph.D. in "Talking Maia Down From Mental Ledges". When our home's resident people pleaser (me) is about to explode with the stress of trying to keep the world happy, this man reminds me that "keeping the world happy" is not in my job description.

2. He loves being home more than anything else in the world. Ever since we got married, though we didn't intend to it be that way, he has worked and I have stayed at home. If I were working, I would be a workaholic. And sometimes, lacking that outlet, I try to convince him to be the workaholic (after which I go check the medicine cabinet to see when I picked up the prescription for insanity pills). The good man holds firm, though, and lets us know through words and actions that home is his favorite place to be and we are his favorite people to be with.

3. And, yet, he provides. We neither want nor need for a thing. Not only does he bring home the Bacon, but he takes care of the Bacon-related issues. When we first got married, I tried to be the Bacon manager. But when we discovered that I get stressed taking care of Bacon, he stepped in as CBO (Chief Bacon Officer). So now I just focus on the little Bacon related things...like buying the bacon. (Yum, anyone's mouth watering?)

4. He's got cute genes. :)

5. He's got cute jeans. ;)

6. He learns new concepts and understands new technology annoyingly fast. Our children are going to have a very rough time pulling any fast ones on us.

7. He is much better than I am at ending arguments. This is a very good trait for our marriage.

This list could go on, however I will end, today, with The Straw (you know, the one that broke the proverbial camel's back and pushed me, thankfully, to the brink of gratitude):

8. I have mentioned that we drive hoopdie cars (junkers, clunkers, beaters) over here. Currently I drive the better of the two, but please remember that the word "better" is relative. The car I drive (do I HAVE to call it "mine"?) is probably the dirtiest car in South Korea. I am loathe to wash it, though, as it will probably fall apart. Every other week something little breaks on it. First the power locks. Then the radio. Then the back light on the dashboard. Lately, especially in the extreme cold, if you shut any of the doors firmly, you risk locking the whole car up. I have reminded myself to exercise extreme caution. I have reminded my husband of the dangers. I remind myself every time I load the kids into the car. INCLUDING this morning (on our way to a doctor's appointment). Since it was so cold, I started the car, reminding myself to always leave a door open while I loaded the kids. You can see where this is going. As I was scraping ice from the windows, I caught myself closing the open door. Slow motion, as the door is closing, realizing my error. And of course: all the locks clicked down. Kids buckled into car seats. Car running. (Yes, Dad, I know I was supposed to hide a key.)

This is a lot about "me" but it's all to set up for my wonderful husband who came home, in the middle of a horribly busy, terribly stressful day. Would MPs (Military Police) have come to help me? Undoubtably. Could I have called the little auto repair center and they would have sent someone over quickly? Probably. Could my husband have asked if it was possible to do these things? Yes, he could have, and his boss might have preferred that. It was a nerve-wrecking thing, but the kids were safe and the MPs would have gotten there quickly. But in the frantic first moment, though, I called my husband and without a complaint or word of reproach, he came. And, as my little tires spun on the ice, he motioned me out of my car (though I shouted out the window, "Just go! I can get it!") and got me up the slippery, icy hill of our complex's drive.

It's hard for a girl, who has always been independent and had a block against "relying on her guy" to admit, but, in the words of JB as we safely, warmly, and happily drove off to our doctor's appointment, "Daddy saved us."

Yes, son. Yes, he did.

7 Quick Takes -- 21 January 2011

2011-01-21T01:25:00.003-06:00

~1~

This past week my excuse for not blogging was, "But the only things I have to write about are so insignificant that only 7 Quick Takes will do!" So if I passed up this Friday, it would be a shame. These days I'm mostly rather uninspired about blogging: "Ohhhhh...you mean a blog is for writing?!"

~2~

I say "mostly" because when it comes to updating my Facebook status, I get inspiration nearly hourly. It is for this reason that I don't starting twittering (tweeping? twerping?). With Facebook, I can convince myself to limit myself to one update a day. I tell that one ought not to subject one's friends to too much "personal ego-ism". If, however, I have people following me, my head not fit through doorways. I tell myself that this is an avoid-temptation-to-hubris decision. It might be also coupled with self-preservation: if no one follows...well...I am not sure that a therapist is ready to hear, "I'm shattered because no one follows me on Twitter."

~3~

Posting to this blog, however, is going to probably get less frequent before it resumes a regular, steady heartbeat. I can't speak for Ute, but as for me and my self, I just started the, albeit, slow process of going back to school. I am still in discernment process, but am goal oriented toward speech-language pathology. I'd like to tell you about how I got here, but I'm giving myself some time to settle into this space-in-time a little more firmly. In the meantime, I'm busy finishing up our taxes, applying for financial aid, researching what funds are available for military spouses (to include deciding whether to apply my husbands post 9/11 GI bill towards this)...oh yes...and taking my first class towards my 2nd bachelors. I have really missed being in school!

~4~

If your children watch this movie as much as mine do, you don't need any explanation of this. If, however, you have not overheard Toy Story 3 so many times that you can recite lines complete with dramatic pauses (including the portion of the movie in which Buzz speaks in Spanish -- and I don't know Spanish) then I will tell you that this screen shot comes from the beginning of the movie during the toys' playtime (which is shown as it appears in their owner, Andy's imagination). Mr. Potatohead pushes a button that reads "Death By Monkey", the "Barrel of Monkeys" gets dropped from the sky, a red mushroom cloud appears, and the monkeys come racing after the other toys.

I sympathize.

Santa Claus (Mr., not Mrs.) left a Barrel of Monkeys under the Christmas tree, and I have been kicking them out from underfoot ever since.

~5~

On the subject of Toy Story:

Symptom: Healthy and, only mildly, abnormal child suddenly throws himself, perfectly still, on the floor every time his mother enters the room.

Diagnosis: Said child has internalized Toy Story (1, 2, & 3) and has identified with the toys.

Treatment: Enjoy the 3 seconds of quietude. Think about limiting tv hours.

~6~

Even though this blog has been suffering from a lack of attention, it still stands that we have a vision. For my part, I dream of a resource (more of a forum) for Catholic Military Wives. A place to find other wives who are living out their vocation to motherhood in the context of military life. I would love to have a section for sharing pro-life and large-family-friendly doctors who are accessible at various posts/bases and covered by Tricare. If there are several people in one area who are NFP'ers, wouldn't it be nice to have some camaraderie? Wouldn't you like to have posts like this and this in easy-to-find places? Wouldn't you like to discuss them and hear from women with experience? If you are getting ready to move overseas, wouldn't it be nice to have a connection where you were going? Someone remind you to bring sacramental records with you? This was something that didn't even cross my mind! Not sure that my current time commitments/computer skills lend themselves to this dream. But someday...

~7~

And that's all she wrote! Have a blessed Friday and make sure to check out Jen and the other Quick Takers.

A Happy Family

2011-01-19T01:14:00.004-06:00

A couple of months ago my family had the chance to have a professional photoshooting done. An acquaintance of ours started her own business and gave away a free shoot, and lucky me won it! We spent over an hour on the beach, and the pictures turned out gorgeous. Of course I used them for our Christmas card, and the feedback was kind of overwhelming. The unanimous statement of friends and family (and sometimes strangers, since some of them actually showed the card around) was: "What a happy, content family! You can totally see how much you all enjoy each other's company! Just perfect!"

Truth be told, although it's flattering, I find this feedback somewhat disturbing. Especially since I often heard it with a longing undertone. It raises two questions:

1) What the heck is wrong with the world?

Are we really this extraordinary? I don't think so. We are a husband/father and wife/mother with two (and a half) children who are far from perfect. We struggle with after-deployment-adjustments, too much work outside the home (Dear Husband), lack of motivation for household chores (me), temper tantrums (the kids) and stubbornness (all of us). Our house isn't ready for company (most of the time), we go to bed angry at each other (occasionally), and we haven't quite been a pillar of our community doing volunteer work any time recently. There is no better feeling these days than when I close the children's bedroom door behind me and don't have to tend to them anymore for the night. Dear Husband is - I'm sure - sometimes relieved to be able to spend the day at work instead of with his hormonal, bitching wife and I would jump at it it immediately if somebody gave me the chance to spend a weekend in solitude with nothing else but my Kindle. Yes, we love each other and are - not least through our faith - committed to each other, but at best I would describe us as "normal". So if we represent something that other people admire and long for, what does that say about our society?

2) What the heck is wrong with me?

I can't tell you how many times I have thought "Oh, if only I were in her shoes... If only I had what she has... " I would be more patient with my kids, more energetic, a better wife, not to mention prettier... Those reactions showed me something that I should have known all along. I DO have it all. A loving and loveable husband, two (and a half) beautiful kids, a great family. What more can you wish for? Why is it that I still think the grass is greener on the other side? Why can't I make the best out of what I have instead of eyeing what others have?

Do you have the answer?

A fog of resolution?

2011-01-04T22:59:00.003-06:00

I do not have much to say today, but I thought you might appreciate this:

If, like me, you do not make New Year's Resolutions NOT because you don't believe in them (they exist) or because you will forget them (I do) but because you spend your life in sort of a fog of general resoluteness, so a New Year really makes no difference, then you will enjoy this blog post from Light and Momentary. I am always amazed at how some people are blessed with the ability to organize thoughts so coherently that they are actually helpful to a reader.

Pieces of He(a)r(t): Love's Story

2011-01-01T23:43:00.003-06:00

Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves. She wears hers on him; it's not velcro'd like his rank (removable) or dependent on his job title (lose-able); it is woven into camo, hung around his neck, pressed around his finger, coursing through his veins. (Dependent on each other, strong together.) He takes it wherever he goes. And she leaves pieces of her heart wherever they go.

Sometimes she leaves pieces in two places at once, where she is and where he is. There may be pieces stuck in sand, pieces in snow, pieces across oceans, pieces in the middle of oceans, and little pieces left all over the globe. Pieces chipped off by near misses, worry, uncertainty.

Home and heart are where family is. And there are pieces of her heart wherever they have been. There is a piece of her where she came from, before she added her name to his. There are pieces that have broken off in joy: the place where she and he first called home, the homes where babies were born, the places where friendships blossomed, the dream home with crayons on the wall, fingerprints on the windows, and measurements marked on the door jam. Every joy is a treasure that she takes with her when she goes. But she knows she'll leave the place, and a little piece of her, behind. She leaves these bittersweet pieces, pondering them in her heart for always.

There are pieces that have broken off in sorrow. Pieces that sometimes seemed to be her whole heart. Pieces of things broken: trust and love. Pieces of true and immeasurable grief. Pieces that look like graves. She leaves a piece far away when she can't be there and she leaves a piece when she is there and when she knows she must leave. She'll die before she forgets them, though the pain of them never dulls.

She is not protected from hardships, neither little ones nor big: from sickness, depression, loss of children, loss of husband, sharing sadness with friends, pettiness, rumors, disappointments, failures – things done and things done to – they find her as surely as they find everyone else, sometimes as surely as though she is wearing GPS.

Sometimes she leaves pieces of regret, of things said in anger, of mistakes made, of jealousies rankled, needless competitions lost or, worse, won. She leaves pieces of her fallen self that she would rather never remember.

But that's why all these pieces matter, for they are never forgotten. Though leaving these pieces across the country and across the globe as this gypsy soul lives and loves her nomad life, she is neither less nor smaller. These pieces, when added together and multiplied by faith, make up a sum that is greater than the heart that was broken. Though she may not see it, her heartbreak, and those pieces of broken heart span around the globe. They give her arms that hug with compassion for they have felt pain; they give her eyes that see injustice and hands that refuse to let her stop at just seeing for they have known injury; they give her a mind that does not judge, for she knows her imperfection; they give her tears and laughter, too, to grieve and rejoice with those she loves. Because of her sorrow, her love is strengthened and grown, and she knows it could not be any other way.

And she yearns for the day when these pieces will be made whole and wholly in God.

7 Quick Takes -- 31 Dec 2010

2010-12-31T23:52:00.002-06:00

After enjoying this literary gem, head on over to Conversion Diary to enjoy Jen and the other Quick Takers!

~1~

I feel guilty writing this "7 Quick Takes FRIDAY". It's Saturday, here in South Korea. It is past noon. It's 3pm. Furthermore, I think midnight has hit the Stateside Eastern Seaboard.

~2~

Tough.

~3~

When I close my eyes, I am still surrounded by the wonderful smell of Christmas tree. Then I just keep my eyes closed. Because the poor tree is so dry that I will not have to carry it out on Monday. I will just give it a quick shake and then haul out the vacuum.

~4~

It's dry (read: arid as the Sahara) because it was cut in October. That's what happens when you cling to traditions while stationed far away in places that do things a little differently. But my tree is from Oregon (I pretended that my family cut it down and shipped it). And, though I didn't chop it down myself, I DID wrangle it (WITH two toddlers, thank you very kindly) through the store, into the parking lot, tied it on the top of our little hoopdie car, and get it all the way from the neighboring military installation. Because military wives learn to do every manner of thing and because I had the irrational fear that IF I EVEN WENT HOME TO GET MY HUSBAND ALL THE TREES WOULD SELL OUT!!!

~5~

Our The Story of 2010's Christmas Tree is hilarious. To me. And I foresee that my children will be rolling their eyes as I ~~embellish upon~~ tell this story for years to come.

~6~

Have you used The Saint's Name Generator? As soon as she posted it, I found myself hoping Mrs. Fulwiler would debut a "Word of the Year Generator". But, according to her 7 Quick Takes, no such luck. It's probably better for my personality type, anyhow. I clicked to "get" my saint. And then was promptly tempted to keep clicking until I got one that inspired me. Which I think defeats the purpose. AND relies on my own pride and fallen nature to determine (acknowledge: a skewed) holiness. So St. Bridget of Sweden it is.

~7~

Devoid of some wonderfully cool or holy way to determine a "Word of the Year", but determined to determine one (for the first time), it came to me last night at our vigil Mass. This may or may not have been said during the homily. I thought I heard it during the homily, however our priest is a man of many languages and I (really possessing only one) sometimes struggle with his accent. So what I thought I heard was "Infect".

He was speaking about being infected and infecting others with joy, with love, and with peace. Seeing how we just got through a particularly infectious virus that swept through our community rapidly and brutally (it didn't last long, but those hours you spent hugging the toilet you thought might be your last) this word seems particularly powerful. It's a rather icky word, "infect" is. But oh how I wish I were so filled with faith, hope, and love, peace, and joy that others couldn't help but catch it.

So my prayer for 2011 is to grow in God's love that I might be infectious with it!

From Flowers Round the Cross:

"Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year, filled with joyous homecomings and baby blessings, happy tears and family joys, faith-filled friends and God's peace."

Some answers on how to pray with small children around

2010-12-29T11:26:00.004-06:00

Jennifer at Conversion Diary has compiled her annual list of the 12 best links of the year, and one of them is a post from Abigail's Alcove about how to pray with small children. If you have ever thought to yourself "Well, I wish my prayer life was more meaningful, but it's impossible with those little monsters around...", you need to read it, and you will gain some awesome insights.
Her advice to "Deal patiently with interruption" seemed too obvious to me at first, but I love her story about St. Frances of Rome, and she neatly sums up her advice in this sentence:

I prove my dedication not by having some amazing transcendental mountain top experience every morning, but by persistently returning to my prayer time after each distraction.

But the thing that struck me the most was her suggestion to pray right after the kids are in bed. You all know that feeling of relief when we can finally close the children's bedroom door behind us and know that we now have some time just for us (and maybe our spouse). What better moment than this to turn to God, to reflect on the day, to give thanks, and to praise. And to be honest, if I don't do it then, I'll be too tired later...
I think this is going to be my New Year's resolution for 2011. To make it a habit to pray right after the kids go to bed.

What are your tips for a healthy prayer life even when you have small children?

Fallen nature

2010-12-22T22:32:00.003-06:00

My two children are bickering with each other. Recently it seems that they are doing it ALL.THE.TIME. The bright side of it is how innocent their dialog actually is. It goes something like this:

Child 1: "No!"
Child 2: "NO!!"
Child 1: "Stop it!"
Child 2: "YOU stop it!"
Child 1: "You did it!"
Child 2: "YOU did it!"
Child 1: "You got it!"
- at this point child 2 inevitably starts crying at the meanness of the insult -

Sometimes Elmo is child 1, sometimes Cookie Monster is. They both do it the same way. So, no name calling yet. I guess Dear Husband and I have done a good job sheltering them from bad outside influences (s0 far). I just wonder how they came up with this dialog. Not from watching their parents, that's for sure.
And the other thing that puzzles me: even though objectively the words are innocent, they achieve the same result as bad name calling - hurt feelings. So why do they feel the need to do that at the tender age of 2 and 3 years old? The only reason I can imagine is this one: our fallen nature.

It makes me sad to see the effects of sin corrupting my children's innocence. And then I start thinking of how sad God must feel watching ME acting this way...

Any ideas on how to stop the bickering between my children? I sure could use some advice!

Sunday Prayer - A Prayer For Children

2010-12-20T01:05:00.003-06:00

From a prayer card that I found in church today, with a picture of St. Nicholas on the back...

O God the Father of mankind, who hast given me these my children, and committed them to my charge to bring them up for Thee, and to prepare them for eternal life: help me with Thy heavenly grace, that I may be able to fulfill this most sacred duty and stewardship.

Teach me both, what to give and what to withhold; when to reprove and when to forbear; make me to be gentle, yet firm; considerate and watchful; and deliver me equally from the weakness of indulgence, and the excess of severity; and grant that, both by word and by example, I may be careful to lead them in the ways of wisdom and true piety. Amen.

Pour Thy grace into their hearts, and strengthen and multiply in them the gifts of Thy Holy Spirit, that they may daily grow in grace and in knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ; and so, faithfully serving Thee here, may come to rejoice in Thy presence hereafter. Amen.

7 Quick Takes - 17 December 2010

2010-12-17T16:18:00.003-06:00

~1~

Craving peace, my little guys and I are slowing things down. Winter hibernation style. It means fewer playgroups, fewer errands, and more time at home. The end result is that, in terms of calm, this Advent is beautiful!

~2~

In terms of prayer and devotion, however, I'm a little bit mired. Suggestions for something to help? Being laid back sometimes has it's downfall. This year it means I'm a day late for everything. Since South Korea is, for all intents and purposes, a day ahead of my family and friends in the States, this is how my memory works:

From my mom: "Happy _____ Feast Day!"

Me: "Oh...thanks. I guess that was yesterday for us."

My December Magnificat got lost in the APO mailing system. Our chaplain has been gone for 3 weeks, so I have not been in for daily Mass. I missed the beginning of the St. Andrew Novena. I realized, today, that O Antiphons started yesterday. So that "O Wisdom" that I needed will have to wait. Yes, I know I can "catch up" but it doesn't change the fact that I feel like I will be the girl who (it is to be hoped) arrives in Heaven, breathless, a day late, fumbling with her keys, disheveled, peeling her coat off, while everyone else is joyfully participating in the festivities.

Suggestions?

~3~

We have had our Christmas tree since just after Thanksgiving. This was not a planned thing. I'd like to have the tree put up just prior to Christmas. Last year, however, due to moving to South Korea just before Christmas, we didn't HAVE a Christmas tree. Here you have to pre-order your tree. So when, the Sunday after Thanksgiving, I happened to see a sign for "live Christmas trees" I did not even stop to think. In a move that truly embodied the Spirit of Christmas (please note the sarcasm), I knocked shoppers over in my haste bring home the tree. On that particular day I was up two kids and down a husband. But that didn't stop me from roping my tree on top of my dirty ol' hoopdie car. I really hope the sight gave someone a chuckle.

In the meantime, our tree, which was, according to the tag, chopped down in October and shipped from Aurora, Oregon, is dropping needles. A state of affairs not helped by two toddlers that like to include the tree in all their reindeer games. I really need a better vacuum...

~4~

I am a Certified Baby Signing Time Instructor! Though I am not sure how this is supposed to fit into Operation Slow Things Down, I am really excited!

Signing Time has been and continues to be a great fit for our family. I have a list, tucked away, that has my life's goals written on it. One of those goals is to be fluent in ASL. And I am not ashamed to admit that I believe Baby Signing Time videos are a great way for me to slowly but surely start on this goal. "Baby steps" should be my motto for life.

~5~

As I mentioned earlier, you absolutely must read How Do You Tuck In A Superhero? by Rachel Balducci. I laughed. I cried. It moved me.

~6~

Speaking of crying...

Ute mentioned earlier this week how emotional she is. She blamed it on pregnancy hormones. These days I can't seem to stop ~~bawling~~ tearing up. I cry at commercials (and they are all in Korean -- apparently pictures are worth a thousand words). I cry at the sweet things my kids say. I cry at the awful things my kids do. I can't blame it on pregnancy, yet. I can't blame it on nursing, anymore. I am going to fall back on my theory of NPB. At this point, I can only hope that pregnancy would sharpen my emotive coping and cognitive skills.

~7~

If you read this blog, chances are that you already move in circles that have called your attention this this:

If you haven't seen it, it's worth the click now.

And now, back over to Jen and the other Quick Takers at conversiondiary.com!

A Review from a Boy-Crazy Mom

2010-12-15T17:24:00.003-06:00

In my new (liturgical) year resolutions (has it already been three weeks?!) I resolved to get back on the blog posting wagon. And so, here I am. A few weeks ago, as I did my Christmas shopping (compliments of Amazon, thank you very much), I decided to do a bit of shopping for myself. To be precise, I threw How Do You Tuck In A Superhero? into my cart. It's been sitting in my wish list since it came off the presses.

Thanks to the capricious delivery that belongs to the APO system (I can get things in 4 days or be waiting 3 months for others), nearly two months later I finally have Rachel Balducci's book in my hands. So you will forgive me if this post is brief. I have been laughing since page one. I am, with only a smidgen of guilt, letting my boys watch Toy Story and eat copious amounts of Frosted Mini Wheats at 0830 while I sit in pajamas, drink my coffee, and chuckle over this delightful book.

Even if you were not the little girl who made a pact with her sister to swap daughters for sons (I did), even if you don't dream of raising your own all-male sports team (I do), even if you don't have any male children (I do), and EVEN if you haven't taken great delight in family humor since early years (my book shelf included well-loved copies of Cheaper by the Dozen, Belles on Their Toes, and Please Don't Eat the Daisies), you will love this book. You can get a sampling of Mrs. Balducci's wonderful writing over at Testosterhome, in case you haven't already figured that out. If you are searching for a gift for someone (in my case, myself) THIS is the perfect book. It is inspiring to read humor that is, truly, a mother's love letter to her sons.

And now, in the eerie calm that is currently my home, you must excuse me. I'm reading.

Little Thoughts from Low, Looking High

2010-12-13T16:55:00.000-06:00

Today from our little domestic church in Korea, I bring you this. It is taken from the end of a long day that began early with stomach sickness.

To set the scene: JB and Kiwi are fighting over a crucifix, unable to share.

The Momma: "JESUS IS FOR EVERYONE!"

In an attempt to convince me to rule in his favor, JB: "But Momma! Kiwi EATING Jesus!"

The Momma: "Kiwi! Don't eat Jesus!"

*pause*

"We only eat Jesus at church."

~*~

There are a lot of things that occur to me from a child's perspective these days. It always dawns on me when I am trying to explain things to an inquisitive toddler. "Eating Jesus" is one of those things. As a cradle Catholic, I am used to hearing, "Take this, all of you, and eat it: this is my Body which will be given up for you. " As these words are spoken and prayed, since JB was very young, I have quietly called his attention and whispered, "That's Jesus!" As he has gotten older, he wants to know why we all file towards the front to eat and if he can too.

If you teach your young children about the Real Presence (that small, ordinary wafer that Father is holding up is Jesus!), the next logical step is that we both love Jesus and eat Jesus. When you REALLY start to think about it, you find it's not a neat teaching. It's visceral. It's messy. It's a cup, filled to the brim with Love and slopping over the sides. I forget, sometimes, that God defies the sanitary parameters we would like him to fit.

As parents we give of ourselves: by cleaning up little bodies and vomit-filled sheets at hours that should be filled with sleep, by preparing food and cleaning up that food (Did they EAT anything?!) when we'd rather be reading, by laying out rules and enforcing them when, really, we just wanted 10 minutes to enjoy a quiet cup of coffee, and the list has no end. Parenting is visceral. It's messy and filled with more bodily fluids than I ever imagined.

Our parent-child relationship with God is filled with this giving-of-self Love. It's not an abstract. His gift of self is total, complete. When we eat his Body and drink his Blood, we have the blessing to have a hands on relationship with our God who suffered messy, real, visceral, excruciating (look at where that word comes from!) death and life for us. And so, yet again, my children unknowingly strengthen my faith. As I work to teach them their faith, I am forced to re-examine and re-realize that that God, my Savior, is not an ethereal untouchable. A mystery? Yes. But a Mystery who invites me to touch the bloody wounds in his hands, to eat his Body and drink his Blood, and to fall, ever deeper, into Love.

Advent is for... climbing!!

2010-12-01T02:13:00.005-06:00

.
Maia will tell me that I'm showing off, but I have to start this post with a big announcement: my son is finally potty trained!!! Yep, at the tender age of 3 years and almost 5 months, after several failed attempts, and 3.5 months or so before the new baby comes, he is out of diapers. I can't tell you how happy that makes me!
Looking back it's pretty obvious that what made the difference with this attempt was my determination. I had gotten so fed up with having to change this big boy's diapers that I told him flat out: "You are too big for diapers now, and you will not get one more from now on. Now matter what it costs me!!" And after a couple of days with some accidents, he had gotten the hang of it, and suddenly he was going to the bathroom like it had never been an issue. Leaving me in total amazement and asking myself: "Why, oh why, didn't I do this before?"
Actually, I should have known that this is how it would go. Because it was the same thing with getting him and his sister to sleep through the night or weaning him from the bottle. Whenever I had gotten determined that now is the time and I would fight it out if I had to, to my surprise the big transition went quickly and smoothly. Really? All it takes is enough determination on my part?

This realization kind of coincides with something else I reflected on recently. We had a guest speaker at our weekly MCCW meeting, a nun from the Daughters of St. Paul. She introduced us to the concept of lectio divina, a slow, contemplative praying of the scriptures. You can read more about it by clicking here. The passage of the Gospel that she chose for us was Lk 19:1-10, the story of the tax collector Zacchaeus:

Jesus entered Jericho and was passing through. A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. He wanted to see who Jesus was, but because he was short he could not see over the crowd. So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore-fig tree to see him, since Jesus was coming that way.
When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.” So he came down at once and welcomed him gladly.
All the people saw this and began to mutter, “He has gone to be the guest of a sinner.” But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”

I have added the emphasis, because practicing lectio divina you look for one word that particularly stands out for you, and for me it was "he ran and climbed".

You see, spiritually speaking, I'm of small stature myself, just like Zacchaeus. Of course I want to see who Jesus is, but... my view is blocked by my two toddlers and their demands, and I'm tired from the pregnancy, and there are so many things on my to-do list, especially now that Christmas is around the corner (oh yes, the irony!)... You can't really blame me for calling it a day and going home, can you? I'm sure next time Jesus passes through town I'll get the opportunity to actually see and meet him.
Well, that's not what Zacchaeus did. He was determined. He made it happen, even though he had to run and climb a tree. And Jesus rewarded him for that by exceeding all of Zacchaeus' expectations, calling him by his name and staying with him.

Going back from Holy Scripture to potty training (sorry!): I have now seen what a difference enough determination on my part makes. So maybe, just maybe, a lack of determination is the real reason why the past attempts to animate my spiritual life have not been successful. And what better time than this Advent season to start over again. Jesus is coming to our town in a little over three weeks. Time to run ahead to find a good spot and to get comfy on that three! And this time... no excuses!

Wishing you a great Advent season!